Wednesday, January 9, 2013

(Re) Opening My Happy Pill

I started blogging more than a decade ago. It was all about ranting and whining about the things I cannot change. It was an online diary of an often misunderstood kid.

One of my last entries in my original blog was about having something too good to be true -- the man that forever changed my life. He read it. He didnt like it. He thought how could I even doubt him and what we have when all he did was be true and make me happy. This might be or not be true. He wanted out -- out of my life.

I didnt like that. I had to change and believe that I am worth all the happiness this life can give me.
i deserve to be happy with this man. So I made this blog, without anything about my overdramatic past. Just acknowledging all the things that bring me luck and happiness.

I am honestly happy and thankful for what i have now. And I want to share those simple happiness to everyone, no matter how small and trivial those things can be.

When the time comes that my life becomes another sad afternoon drama, I can look back on all these little things that brought me happiness and then I can smile again.

I now have a kid and married to that too good to be true man. I now write about  and to them too.
When the day comes too,  that too good to be true man's memory of me is all about my grumpiness, he can look at these too, and remind him how magical it was of us being together. And when my baby too becomes a whinny teenager like i was, blaming mommy for everything, she could read everything I wrote and realize i always think of whats best for her. I love her and I always will.

My blog has become my happiness storage box. The one I can open and re-open when things are not going as planned. I hope I can fill it more with the big and little things that bring luck and happiness that I so deserve.

This year will be better. This year will be happier. Happy new year.

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