As soon as we got back home (our home for the last 3 years) from a more than a month vacation, the little one asked, "Why are we back here?". She was a bit disappointed of coming back here since, I guess, she'll be away from everything she enjoyed and wanted -- friends to play with and grannies and relatives to spoil her. Hubby said, "We are back here 'coz Papa has work. I need to work so that we have money..." "..to buy food and toys!?" the little one added. "Yes."
And everything was okay.
Once in a while though, the little one would cry, "I want to go to Lola." There's nothing we could do but tell her again that we have to stay here with Papa 'coz he has work and the holidays are over. Then you distract her with toys, games, movies and with other enjoyable memories to forget for a while the longing to go back home.
This makes me sad for her. I know how isolating and lonely being away from everyone is. Sometimes I think if staying together (our family of three) and away from everyone else is good for her or not. Maybe this doesn't make sense to other cultures where it is common to be away from your extended family. In the Filipino culture, family is closed knit that your extended family (grandparents, parents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) live close together or sometimes living in the same house.
We convince ourselves that this is better, the three of us together. We can give our little one a more consistent love and care that only parents can give, a constant home that is not defined by size, materials used nor zip code and a concrete example of complete and always present family our little one will hopefully strive to build and keep in the future.
Hopefully this experience will teach our little one too that, leaving and letting go is part of life and so as returning and getting things back.
And everything was okay.
Once in a while though, the little one would cry, "I want to go to Lola." There's nothing we could do but tell her again that we have to stay here with Papa 'coz he has work and the holidays are over. Then you distract her with toys, games, movies and with other enjoyable memories to forget for a while the longing to go back home.
This makes me sad for her. I know how isolating and lonely being away from everyone is. Sometimes I think if staying together (our family of three) and away from everyone else is good for her or not. Maybe this doesn't make sense to other cultures where it is common to be away from your extended family. In the Filipino culture, family is closed knit that your extended family (grandparents, parents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) live close together or sometimes living in the same house.
We convince ourselves that this is better, the three of us together. We can give our little one a more consistent love and care that only parents can give, a constant home that is not defined by size, materials used nor zip code and a concrete example of complete and always present family our little one will hopefully strive to build and keep in the future.
Hopefully this experience will teach our little one too that, leaving and letting go is part of life and so as returning and getting things back.
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