Thursday, June 26, 2008

Family of Two

i read an interesting article On Not Having Children.. yet.

I've been married for a couple of years now. And, like the author of the article (& the gazzillion that commented), encountered questions, from strangers, "why don't you have babies yet?". And for me, i have encountered worse "why did you get married? are you pregnant?".
geessshh. Am i not good enough to be married? Defensive er?! hehehe.

nowadays (i dont even know why), its a trend that lovers have babies first before tying the knot. (no offense to those who did. its your choice. and i salute those who stood up & live with the choices they made no matter what the circumstances are. do whatever that makes you sleep at night, right!?) i, or should i say we, did not follow that trend. we just felt that we wanted to be together ... just the two of least for now. We still want to reach our individual dreams with the company of each other before reaching our dreams for our little ones. Its a very logical & practical reason. and I firmly believe that a couple should learn more about each other's strengths & weaknesses before making bigger plans for their budding family. Just living with that one (another) person needs a lot of adjusting, from sleeping on which side of the bed, capping the toothpaste, leaving soiled clothes on the floor, having breakfast at noon,etc. Not all couples share the same routine. And do you think having another (little) one will make it easier? And i also believe that knowing your partner well will also help you raise better children. Imagine reprimanding your teenage daughter for a new piercing on her navel. You think its hideous but your spouse thinks its cool. And instead of making reasonable point to your daughter, you end up arguing with your husband, in front of your confused teenager. So who do you think this confused child will believe in? Who will she respect more? Or... thinking too much now. I should be crossing the bridge when i get there.. not when im just i magining it. Oh well, Sooner or later we are going to have those mini-me's.

anyway, i just dont understand why some people are so insensitive with matters like having or not having a baby they are not even involved in the relationship the couple have for them to meddle with the way they chose to live their lives. and i also do not understand why the hell im explaining my side now.

"why don't you have babies yet?"
Some couples have concrete plans when to make their family of two to have an extension and they are sticking to it. Good for them. Let them be.
Some couples try to have kids, but can't due to a lot of factors they can't control. God has plans..better ones. Spare them theagony & pressure.
Some couples don't even try but wouldn't mind if they'll be blessed with "cute nightscreamers". Good luck!
Some couples just dont want babies. Period.

"why did you get married? are you pregnant?"
tying the knot is not simply for procreation. Marriage, i suppose, is not simply a sacrament to make babies. Marriage is binding two people to build a family... and having children is not the only way to have one. You can always have a family of two.

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