In a world were polygamy is popular but not legal and the closest thing to a family is your next bed roommate, I wonder how a married OFW can remain faithful.
OFW or Oversees Filipino Worker is the trend nowadays in the Philippines. Filipinos who are naturally smart, resourceful, hospitable and easy to work with are a big hit to foreign employers. Who wouldn’t want a subordinate that can understand you (language-wise) at a cheaper rate, right?!
So, many Pinoys, mostly from the healthcare sector fly abroad and start a career so they can give a better life to their wives and families they left behind. One of the predictable destinations is the Middle East. Aside from its good offer (free accommodation, free transportation and decent salary), no fancy certifications and tests required (e.g. IELTS, NCLEX, CGFNS, etc). All you need is your diploma, local license and a few years of related experience and you’re good to go. The major downside is, you can’t bring your family with you (unless your better half also has a job offer to the same location and you don’t mind having them harassed by very straight forward foreigners) and you have to live in a dorm like flat with only the same gender living with you for the rest of your contract there (ranging from 2 to 5 years).
So there goes the husband in a land he can live like a single man again. Y/our husband must be rejoicing right now. LOL.
So how can he remain faithful when everyone just acts like they’re back to their younger years and eyeing on anything that’s in a dress (or has a hole)?
1) Regular and may not be always communication
We are told many times that open communication is the key to any kind of relationship to last long. A regular one can also maintain, if not improved, of what you know about your partner. I believe if you don’t talk regularly with your partner you might eventually forget everything about the other and grow farther apart.
2) Birds of the same feather flock together
People who have the same likes usually go together. So if you meet people who cheat on their wives (or wives who cheat with their husband) and don’t feel guilty about it, try to stay away from them. There’s a greater chance that if you stay longer with these kind of people, it would be as easy as breathing when you cheat on your partner.
3) Omission and Lies
Remember communication? Telling your partner what happened to your day also includes who you talked to and what you talked about. Sometimes men (or women) omit certain details because they know that their partner might feel jealous or think of it differently. You think you’re just protecting the relationship by omitting details. But if the other person learns about it eventually, the “omitting part” is the same as “lying part” which I tell you doesn’t protect anything at all. So just tell everything in a manner that will not bring about any suspicion. Don’t omit anything. Don’t lie.
4) Mutual respect
Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Respect your partner whether in his/ her privacy, decision he/she makes, or whatever it is that needs your respect and understanding. Ideally, each of you would give the same respect and understanding you gave him/her. However the case is not always like that. Just don’t expect everything will be equal. Sometimes, one has to give more than the other.
5) Creativity and Stupidity
Being in LDR should not limit you in showing how much you love your significant other. Be more creative… no matter how stupid it may seem your acts will be… to show how much you love him/her. Snail-mailed letter, an unexpected e-card, a little package sent on special occasions, sms of sweet nothings… I’m sure any kind of effort will be rewarded.
6) Friends not Lovers
Sometimes, you fall for the friend whose been there for you on the lonely nights you miss your significant other. But keep in mind, he/she is just a friend, a confidant, not a replacement for the one you are far away from. If you feel like falling for him/her, try to set a wall that will prevent you from straying away from your real partner.
7) Love Me Even If You Hate Me
There will always come a time when you just hate the other’s guts. Maybe s/he did something you didn’t like or s/he forgot to call you back or anything you just hate. Learn to understand and forgive. Learn to love even when you hate. Whether a relationship is long distance or not, love even when you hate.
8) Be A Better You
This is a good time to reinvent yourself. Whether you are the one who left or the onbe left behind. Try to become a better person. You are too far away from any judgement that might hinder you from becoming a new (and better) person.
9) You Gotta Have Faith
I’m talking about the faith in your partner that s/he will not stray. The more you THINK that he would do something “illegal”, the greater the chance he would DO something illegal. And faith in the Almighty that he will give you strength, courage and guidance that you will surpass this uneventful experience. God, I believe, will never give you anything that you can’t handle. So, believe that everything will be well in His time.
All relationship will pass through some obstacles one way or another. and distance will only be an obstacle that will break your relationship if you allow it.
This policy is valid from 17 September 2009
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