Saturday, February 12, 2011

Where have you been and where are you going?

That is the question.

I just read this blog while trying to fall asleep... which I think wont come anytime soon.

I am here alone in a land far away from home and on my 8th week of pregnancy. It has been a quite different feeling from usual. But i really can’t say Im having a difficult pregnancy for i can still work and do my day to day duties but of course with a lot of the queasy feeling. I was telling my husband earlier that” i will never do this again”, jokingly. From a person who eats like a little bird with just a few pieces of this and that to a shrew who eats 80-90 % of their own body weight in food daily. I spend almost all my waking hours munching on something and I cant do that while working. I also have the every 11am-2pm dizziness – the hours I am supposed to start working. I still want to work, not minding being away from home cause this makes me happy and gives me a sense of fulfilment. But this milestone really limits me from doing all what (i think) I want.

I guess my husband is right, be still. Learn to stay still.

Maybe its time for me to just be still and enjoy the moment: morning sickness, excessive hunger and most of all, the heart beats inside my tummy.

Maybe this is better than taking care of other people, playing with other kids and carrying someone else’s baby.

I’ll just take care of myself – eat healthier and plenty(er). Play with all the colors and all the stuff I can put to make my house a baby-friendly one. Carry my very own child in my tummy for the next 32weeks until I can carry him in my arms. 

I will stay still now and appreciate the beauty around me but I will keep my spirits up to move on and forward.

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