Wednesday, July 13, 2011

hormone rollercoaster

Throughout this so-called surge-of-hormones-and-mood-swings a.k.a. pregnancy, there are moments ( a lot of them) when you just want to breakdown and just be swallowed up by all the chaos and uncertainty of .. I don't know exactly. It's the hormones (the one I always blame).

One time I just felt so unpretty. I wasn't getting enough sleep, if I ever get some. So my eyebags are the size of a 30kilos luggage. They are very dark too. And I have a huge growing belly so imagine kung fu panda in the flesh. Geessh. And nobody seems to understand why I am grumpy all the time. Who would be jolly and gay if no concealer can cover up those no-sleep eyes, oversized belly and unflattering preggy outifts?! It sounds lame but there are times that your outer appearance boosts your mood and confidence. Without those looks, everything is just disastrous.

Besides being unpretty, there goes unloved. I just feel that the entire world hates me for no apparent reason. Oh well, it's just a feeling. (I hope!) Nobody seems to understand that I hate the smell of fish even I'm already on the final stretch of my pregnancy. Some pregnant women feel  queasy and the "morning sickness" even when on you're on your third trimester already. Well, I do.  Nobody seems to understand that i need to sleep during the day coz I really can't sleep at night no matter what I do. People expect me to get up from bed and do household chores like I used to pre-pregnancy state. Hello?! I'm preggo, can't you see?! People tend to hate me for being grumpy most of the time. Nobody seems to understand that my mood swings are just part of pregnancy and will be over once the baby comes out. 

Unpretty,  unloved and to top it all unsuccessful. I feel that my life is over --my career, that is. Once this baby pops out, I think I will not be able to go back to work soon. And as I wait 'til my baby is big enough to be left with a trusted guardian, I will be too old to get another job. I still want to do a lot of things with my life. I still want to work and get ahead with my career. Travel the world, perhaps. Buy a bigger house and drive my very own car. Dreams will always be just dreams. It's just isn't fair that I have to give up "my life" to give "life" to someone else. Why was I ever made to be a woman?

Good thing mySweetie is ever so loving and understanding. I know I get on his nerves all the time. And all I said above will be another factor for hating me. But he stays cool and calm throughout his ordeals with me. I think he keeps on repeating to himself, "It's just the hormones. It will be over soon". And according to, it is very common to have those mood swings because of the changes of chemicals in my preggo brain. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close. Exactly.

So I beg you, if ever you know anyone who is pregnant and you just couldn't keep up with her (and her moodiness and depression states), just keep in mind that it is all temporary and will be gone as soon as that little bundle of joy comes out. Seeing that cutesie will definitely melt her heart (and yours too probably). You can just stay calm and ignore her or at least pretend you understand and console her. You can also opt to just stay as far away from her to avoid any confrontations... but please close enough 'coz that moody monster may be just seeking attention. 

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