Thursday, May 10, 2012

Everdearest natnat on 8th month

To my Everdearest Natnat,

Sometimes I forget how happy I am that you are a part of my life, that I am a part of your life. It just gets really overwhelming sometimes to "raise you by myself". You are just so in love with me (or the other way around if you prefer it) that you don't want anybody else but me. You only want me. Only me, to feed you, carry you, put you to sleep, play with you and the list goes on. Don't get me wrong. I don't want it any other way too. I don't want anybody laying their dirty hands on you, or you getting someone's accent (i'm no racist but i just don't want you get stereotyped because you have a strange accent), or you learning habits you have to unlearn later on, etc. I want you to learn everything from me. I want to do everything for you (or at least what I want you to do). I want you all to myself. But, I need some "me time" too -- just me, without you. Even for just a few minutes. Just a few minutes to take a bath or pee without anyone looking. just a few minutes I can watch TV without overlooking what you are doing. Just a few minutes to eat dinner or drink coffee leisurely.

I love you sweetheart. I love you with all my heart and soul ( and whatever else I have in between those). I'm sorry if I even think of leaving you for a second. Just thinking about it makes me a bad mother.

I love you. I feel so blessed to have you -- to have the cutest daughter I could ever have. Somebody that wants, needs and adores me even when I'm not the perfect one for this job -- being your mom. I'll keep on trying though to be the best(est) I can ever be.

I love you sweetheart. Happy 8 months.


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