Keeping Promises at All Cost

We had to bring our daughter to the emergency room a few days ago because she looked really sick after bouts of vomitting and loose bowel movement. She thought that it will be just a quick doctor's visit. She even complained why the doctor is taking so long coz she is already late for school. She was very cooperative, not even a single tear when the nurse was inserting IV line for rehydration, because she wanted the hospital visit as quick as possible. She really didn't like to miss school. I'm amazed at her dedication to study and how much she value education. Then I remembered her dad promised her to give her anything, like a Disneyland trip, if she gets high grades. She knew that getting high grades in school means completing all school works and not being absent.
I guess, more than studying, our daughter really likes to go visit her favorite princesses that she would even go to school sick just to keep her deal with her dad to go to Disneyland. Her commitment to keep promises and perseverance to get what she wants is just too much to expect from her very young age. I'm truly amazed. I'm not sure if her character has to do with our parenting but I'm just so proud of what she is becoming as she grows older.

 Thank you Lord for this wonderful daughter. Keep her safe and healthy at all times. May God bless her always.

Talking about Mortality

Our conversation started with,

"Did you play with your Mom and Dad when you were a kid?".

 She has always been curious of the past. I said, 

"Not really. But I played a lot with my cousins. We all live in a very big house with all my cousins, aunts and uncles." I said something like that.

"I don't want to be a grown up."

"but why?"

"I don't want you getting old." , she said a little bit serious this time.

Aaawww. How sweet. Then I asked her to repeat on camera this time so that I can show my hubby who was at work at that time.

Now rather upset, "No. I will not talk anymore."

I insisted until she finally said,

"I don't want you dying." And now she's almost crying like she's very upset, angry and frustrated.

Huh?! Where did that idea come from? The timing couldn't be better, it was a day after we remembered the dead.

I think she's too young to really understand the concept of death if we talk about it now. I'm a bit uncomfortable discussing it with her or to anyone too since I think talking about it makes it real --which scares me. But I guess it's time.

I told her that everybody will grow old and eventually die and go back to Jesus. (She knows that part since she was aware already when she lost her greatgrandma 2 years ago.) We will be sad and miss those who go before us. But we will be alright eventually. We just have to make happy memories with everybody so that when they go back to Jesus, we will have nice memories of them. But she is really upset that Mommy and Daddy is part of everybody so she doesn't want to grow up nor want us growing old. I gave her lots of hugs and kisses and reassured her that I will live as long as I can to be with her. I then distracted her with more fun games and toys so as she will not worry anymore.

Having this discussion with her made me realize of our mortality. It really scares me that I always dismiss this thought. In my head, I will live as long as my own little family will  live and that we will all live in this happily ever after with no ending. But reality is, we will all go back home to our Creator and some people will be left behind. It is a sad reality that everybody will go through at some point. Even if I pray  and wish and pray and wish and pray and wish some more,  that it will never happen to me or to her, at some point whether it is a family member or a friend or an acquaintance, it will happen . (blank thoughts. blank thoughts. and more blank thoughts,)

Oh Lord, please give us strength for whatever it is that will come our way, make us appreciate what we have now and guide us to do what pleases You  and to live without regrets.

From Bottle to Cup

We trained our little one to use (milk) bottle when we decided to wean her from breastfeeding. (what were we thinking?) She was about two and half years old. Even though breast to bottle is not the ideal "route to progress", we thought that this will just be a short transition to drinking from cup. She already knows anyway to drink from straw, sippy cup and cup. How hard could it be to train her to drink from the cup? However, it is only now, a year after, (Yay! finally!) that she is actually drinking milk from cup.

It is an interesting story how we ended up here. We've been thinking for a couple of months now when to stop giving her milk from the bottle. But child's preference and parents' convenience always wins.

The other night, the little one decided to threw her bottle of milk on the floor in an attempt to get my attention. I was furious why she acted that way. So I picked up her bottle and threw it straight to the trash bin. (what was I thinking?) Of course we can't use it anymore. I hid the rest of her milk bottles and stayed firm that she won't be drinking milk from the bottle anymore. The little one disliked my decision. She cried all night, without drinking milk, to sleep.

She still remembered the next day what happened and requested for her milk in the bottle. Now calmer, I explained that I already threw her bottles because of what happened the night before. She can have her milk in any cup she likes from the collection of cartoon inspired cups we already have. She liked the idea and chose a sponge bob cup with straw. (That was easy!) But hubby was a bit hesitant about using straw since it didn't seem like we "progressed". With that in mind, I asked the little one if she wanted to drink milk from her spongebob cup without the cover. She surprisingly prefer that too. (Thank God!).

It's interesting how the little one's tantrums (and mom's violent reaction) is all we need to make her stop from the bottle. "The end justifies the means." (I've always liked Machiavelli.) Now, we are saying good bye to milk bottles and sippy cups!  (and saying hello to small(er) bags and purses when going out -- I don't have to bring bottles anymore.

Oh, I hope I didn't jinx this by blogging this too soon.

Of Things We Cannot Take back

Daddy going to work was never an issue with our 3 year old.  She's used to that. But today she said,  "Don't go to work Papa.  Don't leave me in the home.", and it's not even the work week/day yet. I think she understood what happened the other night.
Two nights ago, we turned off all the lights and relied on the moon beams to light our bedroom window like what we usually do. We stayed on bed and asked each other questions about how our day went. It was our nightly family time. Then we heard noises coming from the window,  about 2 feet where we were lying down.  A man was maybe halfway inside the window of our bedroom already.  My husband immediately got up and yelled to make the stranger leave. He left instantly. We don't know who he was as it was very dark that time nor any idea of his intentions trespassing in our private space.

The trespasser left with nothing but took away our sense of security, nights peaceful sleep, my sanity and our child's confidence that she's safe inside the house even if her Dad is not around -- things that we can never take back.
I wonder what is going through inside our child's head right now and how this incident will affect the days to come.  I hope she can express herself more so that we can better understand and properly process her (traumatic) experience. It's difficult for us adults to move forward after stressful events.  What more for the innocent child  who only knows honesty, peace and love!?

Of Pains and Active Toddler

It all started when my little one fell and bumped her knees to the ground. She shoved her dad away when daddy was about to pick her up. She was always like this -- brave, strong and independent. She doesn't want any help from us specially when she hurts herself. Nothing significant after that incident. She went on playing and running again.

The very next day, the little one complained of pain on her right knee. She was also limping while she walks. I was worried. She would opt to walk on her knees as bearing weight on her leg, I assume, was really painful. There were no bruise, swelling or clicking today and the day before. So I wonder what could it be that she is partially (and temporarily) unable to do things the same way as before. A little ointment relieved her of the pain and was able to walk (and run) again that afternoon. Thank God, she is alright.

The following  day (her 23rd month), she was again complaining of pain and limping.  Any parent wouldn't want their child getting hurt. You could only imagine my heartbreaking everytime I hear her say "aaawwweee knee". I wanted to go back in time so that I could prevent her from falling the other day. I wish I had put on ice and did a first aid right away even if she seemed okay. I wanted to bring her to hospital and do MRI just to be 100% sure it was nothing serious. (Then all my former patients and their parents (as pediatric physical therapist) flashed before my eyes. Now I understand how it must hurt, disappoint, feel frustrated, and kill every inch of their bone to see their child in pain and probably be specially abled for life. Yes, I'm overreacting. My child has only sprained her knee incomparable for a lifelong disability of my patients.) It was just a sprain and I was overthinking.

I just feel so bad that I can't do anything RIGHT AWAY to make my little one feel better. I'm disappointed that I am knowledgeable about first aid, sprains, and all sorts of medical stuff but then my little one feels pain.

I guess I expect too much and being hard on myself. Every growing and active child will go through some sort of playing minor accident that parents should not fuss about.

Thank God my child is alright now. Thank God for this realization and wake up call (to be more careful). Thank God for the strength He gives to parents watching their child grow, get hurt and be well again.

Power Failure and MyNatnat

Let me just start that I have the best baby ever! I am biased of course.

It was the first time we had experienced a problem with electricity here in the Kingdom. There's seldom or close to none brownouts here. But for some odd reason, our building is the lone area that suffer power outage. It was going as high as 47 degrees lately and you could only imagine the discomfort and annoyance this has brought me. But my little one seems to understand that any tantrum from her would cause me to breakdown. She was well behaved the entire 12hours without light and AC. She even slept without a fuss on our very hot room and outside under the midnight sky. (Daddy decided to just camp out since it was really too hot to sleep indoors.)

My little one is the typical toddler -- playful, clingy, noisy, sweet, picky eater, etc. But I really have to give a big shout out to her for choosing to be the sweetest and most wonderful baby when everything else seems to be falling apart. (Yes, no AC on a 45 degree weather is just like end of the world for me.) She brought entertainment while we picnicked outside. She was dancing and singing all the time. She slept early while Daddy and Mommy take turns in checking her back and to fan her. (until daddy decided that we should just sleep outside so we both could rest too). I could not ask for anything more.

Thank you, sweetheart for always choosing to be nice when it's easiest to be grumpy. 

vicious cycle

 I realized that, people needs to be in control of something. If their life doesn't go well as they wanted, they would try something else to conquer.. maybe a hobby that they know they will be good at. They stay as long as the hobby is going their way. But when it starts to get rough again, they try to find another one --ANOTHER one. They don't come back to the life they have had. It now becomes a pile of another, another, another broken one. They will not stop until they get SOMETHING ELSE right. And if nothing becomes right... then the broken saga goes on and on and on. 

Time to go home

I'm almost done with second trimester. It seems I wasn't even pregnant with all my energy and with my oversized uniform. Some of my patients didn't even know I'm pregnant.

However, last week was a little scary. I felt stabbing pain on the right side of my tummy. It could be just my muscles and ligaments stretching, or appendicitis, or kidney problem, or worse problem with my pregnancy. I went to the doctor right away as i really don't know what it is and all the other people are telling me the worst case scenarios which scared me more.

A few days after that, I almost fainted. My blood pressure went down to 55/28 mmHg. During my pregnancy i was around 110-130/70-100 mmHg. It started with some pain on my neck which I even did massage. I thought I just have stiff neck or something. Then slowly my vision is getting blurred and my hearing was also affected. I'm not the type who would panic and call anyone for help. But this time I think I really need it. So, to the doctor AGAIN.

My doctor said I'm fine on both occasions. It was just all normal to pregnant women. And she "re-assured" me that whatever happens to me, even if i become comatose or something, my baby will be fine. That was really "re-assuring". I think she wants me dead.

Now I think, everything was just really part of pregnancy. Maybe it's my baby's way of telling me to stop working now. It's time for us for something else. My career can wait and my baby needs my full attention now. The little person inside me needs the best of my free time ...if i even have one.

As soon as I got my approved indefinite leave/resignation, I felt more than okay again. It was just really my baby giving mommy orders. I just need to wait for my flight schedule so I can go back home. It will just be me and my baby boss, finally.

I love you baby boss. We are going home soon.

Are You One of Them?

I met one lady here. It was her first time to work outside her country of origin. She went here thinking that she will be a private tutor (and earn a lot) as she was a teacher before. However, she ended up as a nanny for a special child. She knows nothing about medications, behaviour and how to take care of children with special needs. But there’s nothing she can do now. Instead of sobbing and thinking about going back home, she courageously decided to stay. Little by little she learned how to do her job and the family she’s working for loved her. There are times though that the child she has to attend to hits and kicks her. She just endured all the aches, pains and loneliness for this little sacrifice will (maybe) reap rewards for her family back home.

The same thing happened to another young lady I met. She was recruited from a small province. The recruiters promised her that she, like the previous story, will become a private tutor. However, in her documents, she agreed that she will fly using a domestic helper’s visa so she can leave the country faster. She signed not knowing she will really end up as a household help for a family of 16. Whew! After only 4 gruelling days of “hard” labor, she wanted so much to go back home. As of this time, my boss is trying his best to find her a better job and/or just sent her back home.

I think these incidents will never happen if only these 2 women (and many others I think) knew better. There are always people who will take advantage of others’ (mis)fortune for their own gain. So here are the things I think one should know and consider before working abroad.

1. Read
Read the Job title and job description. With those, you will know more or less what to expect your work will be. If you think you are qualified, then apply. However, If you think you do not meet the qualifications, never believe that someone can “fix” or make you into someone that you are not so that you will be qualified for the job. Using fake documents will just mess up your application and your reputation.
Read also the salary. Sometimes, ads and recruiters tell you will be given a high salary for an easy job. This is too good to be true. Either you will be given less than what they promise or they will give you more work. Each job has more or less basic pay in each country. Salary will also depend on your qualifications.
Read how long your contract will be. This will help you plan ahead for your future. Knowing this too will help you prepare yourself emotionally, psychologically and physically how long you will be away from your family.
Read also fine prints such as fees, breach of contract, work location, work hours, etc.
Read or search also if the recruiter is legitimate.

2. Ask
Never be too shy to ask questions that bother you or you don’t understand from what you read. Common questions you might want to know are;
• What company will I work for?
• How much is the salary?
• When will I receive my salary? Via ATM or cash?
• Where will I live?
• With whom will I live? Is it free?
• Is the transportation provided by the company/
• Do I have days off in a week?
• Is there vacation leave? Is it a paid vacation?
• Is there sick leave? Is it paid leave?
• How long are my vacations and leaves?
• Will they provide insurances and other benefits?

You can also ask politely, other applicants about what the recruiter tell them. The recruiter should give you the same answers to your queries.

3. Sign
Your signature is very important. Any documents you sign, means that you read and agrees on all that is in that document. Never ever sign without reading (and thinking 100 times) the contents. Sign only if you willingly and totally agree on every single word in that document. It is difficult to take back what you signed if you change your mind later on.

4. Give
Give only photocopies of your documents. Do not give original copies unless absolutely necessary and/or you have a “received copy” form that your documents are in the hands of the recruiter or agency. Also, make soft and hard copies of all of your documents for back up.
Give money only when they give you official receipt. Processing fees would range from 2 thousand -10 thousand pesos depending on what visa or documents the agency/recruiter will process. You can always ask where your money will go. Placement fees are not more than 1 month’s worth of your salary. This can be paid before you leave or via salary deduction. Medical examination fees are sometimes shouldered by your employer.

I think these will be helpful to you if you are thinking of working abroad. If you have other questions, these are some websites that can help you:
http://www.poea.gov.ph/
http://www.owwa.gov.ph/

Working abroad is not easy. And being in a scam makes it a lot worse. Be wise.

It is human nature to think wisely and act in an absurd fashion. -Anatole France

lost in translation

The other day, my colleagues and I went to the bank for our salary and to remit some to our families overseas. Our French-speaking-Moroccan colleague guided our Arabic-speaking-Indian driver on our way there. Tana, a Czech national was really furious for she already went there the day before. It took her 2 hours and accomplished nothing there. She told the Moroccan and Indian how inconvenient this bank was for her, in her native tongue. Well, I just assumed thats what she said for I too didn't understand Czech. The Indian answered back (in Arabic) and tried to explain something to the very angry Czech. The Moroccan was just smiling. None of them really understood each other. This went on for several minutes -- exchanging incomprehensible words. Again, nothing was accomplished.

I can't understand English.
Nerozumim Chezky.
Ana Mafi maalom Arabic.
How do you say that in French?

I just sat on the car watching them and laughing. I tried to make my own version of their conversation. Now, I wonder what it would look like if I joined them?

Nobody speaks my language.

On High

Whew! Thank heavens!
All friends are accounted for! Things were lost or damaged but all lives are saved and hopefully will be in high spirits soon!
********
Now I fully realized that I am alive and well today to give me a chance to be a better person than I was yesterday. I have no intentions of blowing it! :)

Tragedy Has a Silver Lining Too

Back in the Philippines a few years ago...
My sister and I were not speaking to each other for over a year. In an instant, we made peace with each other as if nothing happened after we lost everything – the house, furnitures, clothes, gadgets, etc. A part of the building we lived in collapsed last year. Though we were all well and unhurt, it was still so depressing that in just a few seconds we lost all we have. Whats more depressing was that the people who were close to us were the people who didn’t even bother to check on us or showed even a bit of compassion. Maybe our situation was not bad enough to even show some pity upon. Fortunately, we have acquaintances and friends from the past that learned about the incident and gave everything we need (and more) so we could start our life back. And we did. We have our lives back. We even got our old furnitures, clothes and gadgets, etc. back. We just never expected to get help from them.

Because of that incident and a-no-reaction-from-my-friends, I sort of had felt angry at them. I just never called them back or greet them on special occasions. That wasn’t like me at all. Revenge err?! I sort of sworn that I’ll never talk to them again. But yesterday, typhoon ondoy struck so hard that all of Metro Manila was flooded. Most badly hit were the areas where my friends I have never talked to in a while live. I had to put my anger aside and genuinely check on them if they were alright. Tragedies just bring people closer together I guess. I tried calling, emailing and putting search messages on my FB status. One was out of the country but her family’s house in Marikina was almost flooded. One didn’t reply to my messages though it seems he’s alright as per his status post on fb. The others, I don’t have any idea yet.

I know very well how upsetting it is to lose a house (or anything for that matter) and feel so alone and find comfort from (close to) strangers. I never want to feel that again. Never. And I don’t want anyone to feel anything close to what I felt… even if they are the same people who made me feel really bad.

I hope everything is fine with you guys. And to all the other victims... help is on the way. Hang on!

With the limited resources we have, my sisters and I gave used (but definitely wearable) clothes to Radyo Veritas, noodles and biscuits to our local parish and monetary donation to RedCross. Please do your share.

Help Ondoy Victims

Please Help Ondoy Victims

Bond, James Bond

Did i tell you that double-0-seven was on my bed?


Oh no..not james bond...



I wish! lol.

It was just the number/identification of the stuff I left on the package counter when I went to the supermarket. Well, i forgot to get back my stuff after I did my shopping thus bringing the number at home. It took me a day or two to find out that the number is still inside my bag. And I was too busy to go back to the supermarket to re-claim my stuff. Good thing, nothing was really valuable in there. I was able to get my stuff after a week, in the same condition as I have left it... at no cost.

But I wish it was really James Bond that i brought home.

live another day

If only my grandma is still living today, it would be their 66th wedding anniversary.

I’ve always been fascinated with my grandparent’s love story. My grandpa was inlove with this beautiful and wonderful lady. I didn’t know much about their relationship but I knew they were a perfect couple. But the funny part was… she was going to marry someone else. Geesh. My grandpa was really devastated and so out of extreme emotion of anger or I don’t know what… he married the lady’s bestfriend, also known as my grandma. Isn’t that sweet!? They had 12 offsprings, 10 boys and 2 girls. It must have been really crazy... the marriage and the 1 dozen children. But everything went well I guess. They were able to celebrate together their golden wedding anniversary.

I can still remember their 50th wedding anniversary. Everyone flew in from US (the celebration was in Philippines) just to celebrate the crazy & I assume wacky 50 years of married life. All of us were wearing the finest gowns and suits, the church where they are going to renew their vows was filled with flowers, caterers were all over our 1000++ sq foot ancestral house, all family, friends and neighbors were invited, etc. Then about an hour before everybody leaves for the church… my grandma suddenly gave us all a blank stare. She didn’t know who we were or what was going on. I don’t even know if she knew who she was. I was very young then so it was only known to grown ups what was really going on. (Now I understand that what had happened was Transient Ischemic Attack. Its like stroke but with less “injuries") The renewal of vows was still held but not anymore in the church. We have to move it to our house since my grandma can’t seem to know how to walk anymore. My oldest uncle have to answer the priest “I do” questions in my grandma’s behalf coz she even cant understand what we were all saying. The party went on afterwards with all guests have to say their names first before greeting grandma. The day after was perfectly fine. Grandma was well and she is really pissed she “missed” her Golden anniversary. Good thing there were pictures to tell how great the party was. She was in every picture but couldn’t remember if she was there or not.

We planned to celebrate again the following year… but she wasn’t able to live to have another wedding anniversary celebration. She had a stroke about a month before their 51st.

I just wished that my grandma was able to live a little longer… so she could have experienced to celebrate her wonderful & fulfilled married life. I’m also wishing to have the same married life & family that she had.

Happy anniversary Lolo and Lola! We’re still going to celebrate coz even when Lola is not here anymore…Lolo’s heart will always be with you, Lola.

*No matter how weird or crazy the start may be, the middle can be beautiful and will hopefully lead to a happy ending.

*Several years later, the lady early in this story kinda reunited with my grandpa. Geeesshh. She was in US while my grandpa was in the Philippines. They exchanged snail mailed letters (they don’t know how to US the PC yet) until my grandpa felt like proposing. He was like almost 80 years old. Lol. Anyway, nothing serious pushed through since everyone (see 12 grown up children + inlaws + grandkids + the lady’s family) was against it. It was really complicated.

25000 miles

I got an email from NWA regarding giving me 25000 bonus worldperks miles after the incident last Friday. Im somewhat happy that I can travel for free using my miles. But i doubt if I'll fly again anytime soon. The accident is still vivid on my mind. Im a bit scared riding a plane again. Though I really appreciate the gesture from NWA. I hope all the injured passengers are well now.

Lucky to be Unlucky

Just before I boarded the plane, mySweetie asked me if there’s any interesting story while I was at the airport. The last time I left, there was some woman who screamed and wept just before she entered the plane. I assumed she never left and cancelled her flight. All the other passengers made their own story on why she didn’t board the plane and why she was screaming earlier. We never learned the real score coz all of us left the country anyway. So I just told him, “nothing really. Everything seemed fine.” Until I texted him a few hours later…

Sweetie, Im alright. Im in Narita already. We just experienced a turbulence or an airpocket. The passengers and some stuff were flying inside the plane. A few people got hurt. But Im really alright.

So much for the non-drama er?!

So there’s an unfortunate drama again. A few minutes before landing to Japan, we experienced a somewhat violent turbulence that made, literally, the passengers fly inside the plane. The Japanese infront of me, flew off his chair, bump his head on the luggage compartment, not once, but thrice. Books and magazines flew all over me. I sit still holding my breath & my armrest. I was almost imagining the oxygen mask popping out any minute now. Lol. After a few minutes of that unimaginable incident, the plane was a bit stable. A few seats up front, the airconditioning & light cover broke and flew on the head of a female teenager hurting her nose and later on vomited. On my side was a man asking for help coz his wife must have hurt herself or something with the cover of the airconditioner that hit her too. A man from way back was then attended by several flight attendants bringing emergency kit and piles of newspaper. Then someone asked if there is any doctor on board. Oh oh..this must be serious. Dr. Passion, A doctor from PGH came to the rescue. I heard him saying he needs a stretcher coz if the man was moved any further, something might snap. Geessshh. I looked around to further see the damages made…some carry on luggages were moved several feet from their owners, passports & boarding passes on the floor, there were some more people who had cuts & bruises on their heads. I was suppose to take pictures but I felt im being insensitive if I do that. They are all hurt and im here taking their pictures.

I just thank God im not hurt physically. However, there goes another trauma and something to be really cautious about. Last year, I was inside our house falling apart. And now, I was in a plane falling apart again. I seem to always be in a wrong place at a wrong time. But I guess my guardian angels are always on the right place at the right time protecting me. One can be so unlucky yet still be lucky er?!






Lesson learned: BUCKLE UP!

Tomorrow, i love you tomorrow

for the past month, i've been trying to eat healthier. thanks to my 2 month vacay last year in US, i have not eaten more than a cup of rice in a day for the past 5 months. less carbs for me! i consume more veggies than i used to. i've chosen roasted over deep fried. though i haven't given up my caffeine addiction yet. eventually i'll live a healthier lifestyle. i'm afraid of growing old and sick.
at the start of the year, my aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 renal failure. and she's not even a senior citizen yet. she has to undergo dialysis and a few surgeries due to some complications. i think this happened because of her diabetes and hypertension,(which are both hereditary)and her lifestyle (which we can change). so, what are the chances i'll undergo the same condition when i grow old?! i better do something now or else...
but then again... there's bacon bits...

i'll just start my healthy lifestyle tomorrow.

When The End Begins

A man's dying is more the survivors' affair than his own.
-Thomas Mann

Hepatic tumors are tumors or growths on or in the liver. These growths can be benign, (mild, non-progressive & harmless) or malignant (severe & progressive). This kind of cancer is common to developing countries where access to health care is limited & screening examinations are not available. Thus discovering they have the cancer at a rather advance stage.

A friend of ours died of liver cancer last night. He was diagnosed early this year and now, its only past half of 2008 and he is gone. It is so painful for his wife, being left alone for all those years of being together, for better or worse. It is equally painful too to his four children to go through such an ordeal. One of his sons is going to get married this December. While his youngest child is still in highschool. That kid only new that his dad was sick, not knowing it was late stage of liver cancer. Everyone is praying that he could have lived a little longer so he could watch, at least, one of his sons get married, watch his “bunso” (youngest) walk on stage & graduate and of course, be there for his loving wife. The joyous events such as a father watching his son tie the knot or pinning his son an award on his final days in school was all gone. I believe those are a father’s dream, a time he could watch his kids making a great life for themselves. It somehow gives a father so much joy and pride that he raised his children well.

As his child too, you also wished that he will be there for all those breathtaking events in your life. It will be a blissful sight to have your father around. It’s like blazing everything and getting to where you wanna be while holding your head up high because you know, someone is standing by your side whether you make it through or you don’t.

But everything is gone now because of liver cancer. I just hope, screenings for such diseases improve. I know that we could do more to alleviate the pain and manage this condition better during the initial course of the disease. I also pray that the family & friends will be able to move on with their lives and stay strong for each other. Everything will be alright. He is in a much safer & peaceful place now. No more pains & suffering -a beginning of a new life.

For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.
-William Penn

Lonely Rainy Saturday Afternoon

Weekends as I have always pictured it, was supposed to be Sunny, spending it at the park or having long drives to the country side with mySweetie. But it turned out raining for the past weekends and worse, without mySweeetie. It has been lonely for the past 36 week(end)s for me. I have no other choice but to spend them alone as mySweetie is several countries away and most of my friends are busy making a living for themselves.

Good thing there are coffeeshops wherein its not so weird hanging there alone. Just have your fave drink, grab a good book or a laptop to type your musings, time can fly fast. You wouldn't feel so alone and cold anymore. Fortunately, there are a lot of emerging "hangouts for lonesome" like me here. But in other countries, I've heard that a lot of them are closing. Yes, there are a lot of coffee drinkers in this world. But they are not enough to keep this business going. Unlike our country, where people are 24/7 awake because of their call center jobs & late night outs, people are mostly in the shelter of their homes before 7pm and leaving the coffeeshops, customer-free. They have no other recourse but to shutdown operations before they totally lose investments for their businesses.

I just do hope, things wont go as far as closing down here too. These shops has been important part of our lives one way or another -- capping a great night out with a date, reviewing for a licensure exam, catching up with good old friends, holding business meetings, and keeping me company on a lonely rainy saturday afternoon.