The Only Thing That is Permanent is Change

So, I've been away from this part of me for quite a while now. Sorry blog.  I didn't have time to put words on how I feel or what I've been doing. It's been a crazy-busy transition from 2015 to 2016 for my family of three. The entire 2016 wouldn't be any different too. And I think even the people around us have their own major changes too. It's quite overwhelming just thinking about all of them.

from www.wuotesgram.com

Talking about Mortality

Our conversation started with,

"Did you play with your Mom and Dad when you were a kid?".

 She has always been curious of the past. I said, 

"Not really. But I played a lot with my cousins. We all live in a very big house with all my cousins, aunts and uncles." I said something like that.

"I don't want to be a grown up."

"but why?"

"I don't want you getting old." , she said a little bit serious this time.

Aaawww. How sweet. Then I asked her to repeat on camera this time so that I can show my hubby who was at work at that time.

Now rather upset, "No. I will not talk anymore."

I insisted until she finally said,

"I don't want you dying." And now she's almost crying like she's very upset, angry and frustrated.

Huh?! Where did that idea come from? The timing couldn't be better, it was a day after we remembered the dead.

I think she's too young to really understand the concept of death if we talk about it now. I'm a bit uncomfortable discussing it with her or to anyone too since I think talking about it makes it real --which scares me. But I guess it's time.

I told her that everybody will grow old and eventually die and go back to Jesus. (She knows that part since she was aware already when she lost her greatgrandma 2 years ago.) We will be sad and miss those who go before us. But we will be alright eventually. We just have to make happy memories with everybody so that when they go back to Jesus, we will have nice memories of them. But she is really upset that Mommy and Daddy is part of everybody so she doesn't want to grow up nor want us growing old. I gave her lots of hugs and kisses and reassured her that I will live as long as I can to be with her. I then distracted her with more fun games and toys so as she will not worry anymore.

Having this discussion with her made me realize of our mortality. It really scares me that I always dismiss this thought. In my head, I will live as long as my own little family will  live and that we will all live in this happily ever after with no ending. But reality is, we will all go back home to our Creator and some people will be left behind. It is a sad reality that everybody will go through at some point. Even if I pray  and wish and pray and wish and pray and wish some more,  that it will never happen to me or to her, at some point whether it is a family member or a friend or an acquaintance, it will happen . (blank thoughts. blank thoughts. and more blank thoughts,)

Oh Lord, please give us strength for whatever it is that will come our way, make us appreciate what we have now and guide us to do what pleases You  and to live without regrets.

Mini Vacation: Roadtrip and the City We Live In

Hubby got a 5 day holiday vacation to celebrate Eid Al Adha or Feast of Sacrifice. And we spent these days off by exploring the city.

Our first stop was this public park in Unaizah.

We have visited this huge park a couple of times before but we never really got the chance to enjoy the activities there other than having a picnic.

Horse Riding

Horse Drawn Carriage  Ride

Quad Biking

We still didn't ride the horse and carriage 'coz the little one was so scared of the horse. Though, we finally tried quad biking. It was fun even though it was driven slow for the safety of the little one on board.

We saw some paramotoring which we would like to try next time.

Second stop was this cultural center in Buraidah. It's about a few hectares or so. It was a really huge park and activities center. 

I'll get a better picture next time.

the park at night

 When you stand on the highest point of the park, you can see the entire city. Good thing we went there late in the afternoon to enjoy the sunset and view the city at night. The pictures here don't do justice to the awesome view of the city lights at night. It was really magical.

And to end our mini vacation, we got the chance to see the lunar eclipse and super moon/ blood moon which was scheduled to be viewable from our rooftop on the last night of our vacation. We waited for this once in a blue moon (pun intended) experience for 3 hours only to get disappointed not seeing the "blood moon" because the sky was cloudy to see it clearly. The lunar eclipse was viewable though and it was pretty awesome to witness it with our little one. She calls it "the clouds is eating the moon" in reference to the story we read to her at night -- Moon Secrets.

I hope hubby gets another (very) long weekend so that we can do these again. 

Not so Little Anymore

I found one of our little one's favorite dresses which I had sewn before because it was still too big back then. I removed the stitches thinking it will fit perfectly now that she has grown a little bit. But I think it was too late 'coz she has grown a little bigger than I expected. It was too short for her to wear outside. But it is still too pretty to throw away and too sentimental to give away. My solution?
Make a pretty skirt out of it.

from baby dress to toddler skirt

She loves it. Now she can twirl around like a pretty princess.

This outgrowing her dresses made me realized that our little one is really not so little anymore. She is growing so fast that new mommy fears are creeping into me. She'll go to school soon, away from me. She'll have friends and teachers who she'll listen and probably look up to and I'll be... here, just here. Maybe she'll still want me or not. She'll be smarter and wouldn't need me for answers. She'll probably won't believe in fairytales, dragons and father Christmas anymore. Oooohhhh. Why am I doing this to myself -- torturing myself with things that probably won't be as bad as I am imagining them. 

I just feel that everything happened so fast and I haven't spent enough time with my little one. 

Maybe I should just twirl around with a pretty skirt with my little one to make time go more slowly.

Letting Go of FB

We gave up using Facebook and its related services for Lent since we're uselessly spending most of our time on it. It was a "wrong move" at first because facebook connects us easily to our families and friends back home. It was a bit lonely without it/ them. But between giving up food and social media, I would rather eat my feelings than post it online. Friends and families who really matter or who are genuinely interested with our lives will surely find ways to get in touch with us anyway.
We are now over a month without Facebook and our lives are pretty much happier. We have spent more time with each other and less time browsing our gadgets and virtually stalking other people. We appreciate more what we actually have and to a lesser extent want less of what everybody else has because we realized that we have more than what we really need. There's some sort of irrelevant comparison that happens when you see too much of other people's lives posted online that makes you feel that you didn't accomplish anything at all.  I guess even after Easter, there'll be lesser use of Facebook or maybe just finally let go of it. I still have other apps anyway. :)

Lessons from the Toddler

You know you're in a big mess when your 3 year old asks your hubby in private "Why is Mama happy then sad, then angry always?"

I dunno why too. I blame the hormones.

"Teach Mama to be happy.", I told the little one.

And she just gave out a huge smile.

Simple as that.

Of Leaving, Returning and Being Together as A Family

As soon as we got back home (our home for the last 3 years) from a more than a month vacation, the little one asked, "Why are we back here?". She was a bit disappointed of coming back here since, I guess, she'll be away from everything she enjoyed and wanted -- friends to play with and grannies and relatives to spoil her. Hubby said, "We are back here 'coz Papa has work. I need to work so that we have money..." "..to buy food and toys!?" the little one added. "Yes."
And everything was okay.
Once in a while though, the little one would cry, "I want to go to Lola." There's nothing we could do but tell her again that we have to stay here with Papa 'coz he has work and the holidays are over. Then you distract her with toys, games, movies and with other enjoyable memories to forget for a while the longing to go back home.
This makes me sad for her. I know how isolating and lonely being away from everyone is. Sometimes I think if staying together (our family of three) and away from everyone else is good for her or not. Maybe this doesn't make sense to other cultures where it is common to be away from your extended family. In the Filipino culture, family is closed knit that your extended family (grandparents, parents, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) live close together or sometimes living  in the same house.
We convince ourselves that this is better, the three of us together. We can give our little one a more consistent love and care that only parents can give, a constant home that is not defined by size, materials used nor zip code and a concrete example of complete and always present family our little one will hopefully strive to build and keep in the future.
Hopefully this experience will teach our little one too that, leaving and letting go is part of life and so as returning and getting things back.

Learning Outside

After months or maybe years of trying, our little one has finally played with other kids at the park. She was very shy or scared perhaps before. She would usually run away or cry when other kids come near her. But this time, she played side by side with kids more or less the same age as hers. l think she even suggested the smaller kids to put their hands up while descending the slide. Our little one is just 33 months old by the way. She doesn't have any other regular playmates besides mom and dad since we live overseas where there is language, religion and culture barrier. She has never attended toddler classes nor daycare as l am an overprotective stay at home mom. But maybe just maybe... l can let go now & be a little less me and let my little one be independent without me watching her every move. l saw in the playground her independence, gross motor strengths, waiting skills, kindness and friendliness, seeks us when she needs help removing the sand out of her shoes and most important of all, her better judgement of not doing the dangerous games the older kids are doing. We taught her well. Though she didn't speak too much with the kids because we speak a different language. The language of play and games was enough for her and her playmates to have fun at the park. 

l feel very accomplished as a parent. l guess I'll be counting more of  these kinds of (small) achievements from now on. Which reminds me too of an article I read a couple of months ago...
71 Things Your Child Needs to Learn Before Kindergarten The article listed traits and skills regarding personal/social development, language, math, gross and fine motor skills which are necessary in kindergarten. What struck me the most is the part on social development.

Personal and Social Development

 Approach to learning

• Shows eagerness and curiosity as a learner
• Persists in task and seeks help when encountering a problem
• Is generally pleasant and cooperative

Self-Control

• Follows rules and routines
• Manages transitions (going from one activity to the next)
• Demonstrates normal activity level 

Interactions with Others

• Interacts easily with one or more children
• Interacts easily with familiar adults
• Participates in group activities
• Plays well with others
• Takes turns and shares
• Cleans up after play

Conflict Resolution

• Seeks adult help when needed to resolve conflicts
• Uses words to resolve conflicts

I anticipated that we might run across problems with social skills and language when we decided to live here. I thought our little one might be a little delayed on that part. But she surprisingly is at par with the list. Thank God.

With our milestone at the park, I think our little one is more or less ready for kindergarten. Though we are not forcing her to go just yet. She's only about to turn 3 and going to formal classes might be too early. She still needs to play and enjoy other things around her without any strict structure and schedule. Child initiated games might be more beneficial for her (and for everyone else around her as I know I have a very strong willed child) to learn and to prepare herself more for a regular academic setting. And this post on The Atlantic supports our decision not to send her to school yet : Why Free Play is The Best Summer School

Sooner or later, our little one will go out to school and out into the real world where my arms won't be there to guide and protect her. I just hope we are preparing her well to keep her (and other kids too) safe and to enjoy life whatever it brings. 

Of Pains and Active Toddler

It all started when my little one fell and bumped her knees to the ground. She shoved her dad away when daddy was about to pick her up. She was always like this -- brave, strong and independent. She doesn't want any help from us specially when she hurts herself. Nothing significant after that incident. She went on playing and running again.

The very next day, the little one complained of pain on her right knee. She was also limping while she walks. I was worried. She would opt to walk on her knees as bearing weight on her leg, I assume, was really painful. There were no bruise, swelling or clicking today and the day before. So I wonder what could it be that she is partially (and temporarily) unable to do things the same way as before. A little ointment relieved her of the pain and was able to walk (and run) again that afternoon. Thank God, she is alright.

The following  day (her 23rd month), she was again complaining of pain and limping.  Any parent wouldn't want their child getting hurt. You could only imagine my heartbreaking everytime I hear her say "aaawwweee knee". I wanted to go back in time so that I could prevent her from falling the other day. I wish I had put on ice and did a first aid right away even if she seemed okay. I wanted to bring her to hospital and do MRI just to be 100% sure it was nothing serious. (Then all my former patients and their parents (as pediatric physical therapist) flashed before my eyes. Now I understand how it must hurt, disappoint, feel frustrated, and kill every inch of their bone to see their child in pain and probably be specially abled for life. Yes, I'm overreacting. My child has only sprained her knee incomparable for a lifelong disability of my patients.) It was just a sprain and I was overthinking.

I just feel so bad that I can't do anything RIGHT AWAY to make my little one feel better. I'm disappointed that I am knowledgeable about first aid, sprains, and all sorts of medical stuff but then my little one feels pain.

I guess I expect too much and being hard on myself. Every growing and active child will go through some sort of playing minor accident that parents should not fuss about.

Thank God my child is alright now. Thank God for this realization and wake up call (to be more careful). Thank God for the strength He gives to parents watching their child grow, get hurt and be well again.

Child Prodigies and Aliens

My aunt grandma (seems like an aunt but technically my grandma) once told us about how her other grandson, who is 2 1/2 years old, can tell amazing stories and answers back in the weirdest and cutest ways. I dont know exactly how or what is amazing in the stories but I kinda get the point. My 22 months old daughter is already narrating how the cow pooped or how big her poop is. Amazing isn't it. Lol. I can't remember or heard any adult telling me of  any narrative I said younger than 3 years old.
Aunt grandma also pointed out how different the children nowadays. They seem to be more precocious, more advance in language (more of constructing sentences or making stories than the fluency of spoken words), has early grasp of computer/ technology manipulation, and so on. There must be something in the air they breathe that made these advances possible.  Pollution? Or maybe in the things they eat (or I ate since I'm STILL breastfeeding)? 'Magical formula' in formula milk? Hidden messages in Disney and Pixar movies? Alien invasion through children via Mommy's womb? Genetic evolution? (Whatda? I don't even know what that means.) Whatever it is, these prodigies and 'genius' children have contributed to my amusement and amazement. With my little one's limited exposure to everything in general, I really don't know where she got those dancing moves, artistic drama, smart remarks or knowledge of smartphones. These changes in children (nowadays) might have its higher purpose - to cope up with the changing times and advancement in technology. I guess, they just don't want to be left behind.

Or they are really aliens in human life forms. (enter X-Files opening theme song)

Just thinking aloud.

(Re) Opening My Happy Pill

I started blogging more than a decade ago. It was all about ranting and whining about the things I cannot change. It was an online diary of an often misunderstood kid.

One of my last entries in my original blog was about having something too good to be true -- the man that forever changed my life. He read it. He didnt like it. He thought how could I even doubt him and what we have when all he did was be true and make me happy. This might be or not be true. He wanted out -- out of my life.

I didnt like that. I had to change and believe that I am worth all the happiness this life can give me.
i deserve to be happy with this man. So I made this blog, without anything about my overdramatic past. Just acknowledging all the things that bring me luck and happiness.

I am honestly happy and thankful for what i have now. And I want to share those simple happiness to everyone, no matter how small and trivial those things can be.

When the time comes that my life becomes another sad afternoon drama, I can look back on all these little things that brought me happiness and then I can smile again.

I now have a kid and married to that too good to be true man. I now write about  and to them too.
When the day comes too,  that too good to be true man's memory of me is all about my grumpiness, he can look at these too, and remind him how magical it was of us being together. And when my baby too becomes a whinny teenager like i was, blaming mommy for everything, she could read everything I wrote and realize i always think of whats best for her. I love her and I always will.

My blog has become my happiness storage box. The one I can open and re-open when things are not going as planned. I hope I can fill it more with the big and little things that bring luck and happiness that I so deserve.

This year will be better. This year will be happier. Happy new year.

Our First Ever Christmas: Keeping Christ in Christmas

"I’m participating in the Keeping Christ in Christmas Blog Carnival, hosted by Raising (& Teaching) Little Saints, Truly Rich Mom and Arma Dei: Equipping Catholic Families. We'll be sharing different ways, tips, stories and real-life experiences that will help us focus on Jesus as the Reason for the Christmas season. Please scroll down to the end of the post to see the list of carnival entries.”

Last year, it was only me and my baby celebrating her first Christmas as hubby was an OFW. Waking very early and bringing my then 3 month old baby to the 9 days Misa de Gallo/ Simbang Gabi was a challenge. That was a sacrifice I had to make to keep Christ in our Christmas alive. I don't want me and my baby to get caught up with the consumerism the holiday season (unintentionally, i hope) brings and forget what Christmas is really about. It is tempting to drown ourselves with material things and short-lived happiness with our current set-up. I get guilty sometimes that my then newborn has to spend the most wonderful time of the year without her dad and buy her a lot of stuff to compensate. But I have to be wiser (in spending) and be stronger in faith... For this season is not about me or my baby. It is about the birth of baby Jesus and visiting Him is the best gift we could give Him.

This year will be the first Christmas we will spend together as a family-- me, hubby and baby. And I want it to be a special one since it will be the start of our family being together every holiday season. My mind is busy combining my family's and my husband's family's holiday tradition to make our own version of Christmas tradition --and of course, to still not stray away from the true meaning of Christmas. There is so many planning going through my head --From what we will serve during Christmas dinner, when to give gifts, when to go to mass, what we do on the eve of and on Christmas day, etc. However, we are now in a country without Christmas. Boo. We still intend to celebrate this season but with full respect for the rules and beliefs of the country we are in. No decors, parties and gift giving like the ones we do back home (Philippines). We will celebrate Christ's birth in a simple and meaningful way we can -- and start our Family Christmas Tradition.

I will try to find Simbang Gabi online and watch them together with my family... Like what we will probably do if we were back home. Since we can't visit Jesus in His home, we will just bring Him in our home. There are a lot of sites streaming TV programs online. I just hope they'll include Dawn Masses. Anyway, there's this site we always visit for our daily mass.

We will include birthday cake in our Christmas Dinner menu to celebrate Jesus' birthday. I got the idea from my aunt-in-law. No birthday is ever complete without the cake. Hihi. Pansit or spaghetti will most probably be on the table too as it is a Filipino/Chinese tradition to have such during birthdays to have  long life. Christmas dinner will be Jesus' birthday party. I'll probably let my toddler make a wish as she blows the candle on the cake.

We will do a 'good deed of the year' before the 25th. It will be like the grand(est) sacrifice or deed in return for the life Jesus gave for us. This I think will be our ultimate Family Christmas tradition that we will do for the years to come. I'm thinking sending donations to the 'victors' of typhoon pablo. Or maybe send gifts for the Filipinos in prison here.

We will not forego of the Christmas carols (volume minimized of course) and gift giving with our small family and some friends.

We have put up our simple and very discreet Christmas tree and some handmade decors inside our home just to have that holiday vibe amidst this Christmas-celebration-is-unpopular-part-of-the-world. No religious items though as they are forbidden here (and we totally respect that. We don't really need relics and icons when we practice our faith anyway.)

We are watching "Baby Jesus is Born"  every night with our little one. It's another kiddie way of introducing and keeping Christ in Christmas.



Keeping Christ in our Christmas is a challenge with all the worldly things and the twisted morals (in my opinion) around us and the geographic location we are in. I just do hope that in our simple ways, my family will not forget about Christ in Christmas or in any season, no matter where we are in the world.

Let me end this post with a wonderful Yuletide carols:


Have a Happy CHRISTmas!

You might want to read:

Homeschool Mosaics: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Joy: Keeping Christ in Christmas: Advent Interruptions
The Breadbox Letters: Interrupted by Glory
TwentyTuesdayAfternoons: Keeping Christ in Christmas/ The Season of Giving / A Wee Bit of Beach Holiday Angst
The Learning Basket: Staying With the Nativity Story
Tercets: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Rosary Mom: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Ate Maui: Hoping and Bringing Hope
Written By the Finger of God: 12 Traditions for Keeping Christ in Christmas
Dominique's Desk: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Felix at Fifty: What Jesus Wants for Christmas
Mommy Bares All: Birthday Cake for the Birthday Boy on Christmas Day
Between Now and Later: Keeping Christ in Christmas, I am trying...
Lique's Antics: Family Antics: Christmas Reflection
Life of Fortunate Chances: Our First Ever Christmas: Keeping Christ in Christmas
The Mommy Journey: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Roller Coaster Ride: How to Remind Your Kids of Jesus Christ This Christmas
Cymplified: Christ -Centered Christmas: Cymplified!
Mountain Grace: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Touring Kitty: Grown-up Christmas List
Mommy Chinkysoup for the Soul: A Very Special Christmas
City Girl, Country Home: Finding Jesus in a Flurry
Coffee Moments with Sam: Christmas Unwrapped: 5 Presents Our Kids Truly Deserve
Raising Lifelong Learners: Keeping Christ in Christmas
The Diary of a Sower: Keeping Christ in Christmas: Celebrating the Golden Days
Arma Dei: Equipping Catholic Families: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Raising (and Teaching) Little Saints: Keeping Christ in Christmas
Truly Rich Mom: The Greatest Gift of All This Christmas
Joy-Filled Family: CHRIST in Christmas
Blueberry 010: Keeping Christ in Christmas: Jesus is the Reason for the Season
Deeper Truth Blog: Keeping Christ in Christmas Carnival
Holy Ducklings: 10 Ways to Make Advent Special for Your Little Ducklings
Green Eggs and Moms: Keeping Christ in Christmas: Green Eggs & Moms Style!

Single Parent For A Day

I wonder how single parents survive raising their child. I couldn't even do it alone for a day with my newborn.

Our house is being renovated. we weren't able to do it before our baby arrived for my husband was overseas. My baby and I had to stay in my parents' house, where nobody lives there during the day as everyone has to go to work while my husband stays in our house to supervise the renovations in our own nest.

My baby and I starts the day with feeding. She only wakes up for milk and diaper change. I had to make sure she feeds just right coz we are diagnosed with overfeeding the other day during pedia check up. This was difficult for me as my baby cries when I stop giving her milk. Im torn between making her healthy and making her stop crying. which do you choose?

A few minutes later I would prepare her bath while my baby naps. She sleeps soundly when full. I wonder how I can prepare all the bath essentials when shes awake all the time?

With one hand on my baby my other hand is busy opening/ closing head-to-toe baby wash, scrubbing baby's body, rinsing baby's body with water, shampooing head, cleaning umbilical cord, changing nappies, and dressing her up. It is a one really BUSY other hand. Another set of hands would be really nice to have during those times.

Another round of sleep for my baby and chores for the mommy. I would eat, clean up some of baby's bath time mess, hand wash baby's clothes, go for bathroom break and blog if I still have time. If the baby doesn't sleep, I can't do any other work done... not even the bathroom break.

I'm lucky though my mom can baby sit for a few minutes during lunchtime. That's the time I take a bath. If the granny is not around, i'll be stinking with baby milk, weewee, poop and vomit.

Afternoons are busier with playtime with the baby. Playtime meaning guessing what she wants and needs. She's awake and sometimes cries after 12noon. I really can't tell what she wants. Though my first guess is always she wants milk. And she does want milk even when she's not really hungry. It's not good to give her milk all the time. Remember, overfeeding is bad. But nothing soothes a week old baby but milk. Oh what to do?

After 5pm is a little easier since the baby  (and mommy) is all tired from the afternoon session of guessing game. The baby takes her nap again while I pump some milk out of my chest. The pediatrician suggested that I pump out my milk before I breastfeed my baby. In that way, there will be lesser milk for her to suck. Less tendency to overfeed. Imagine if I only have a manual breast pump. It will be another tiresome chore for me.

Then here comes night time. It is another cycle of feeding, burping, rocking baby to sleep and changing diapers. My dinner runs only for 10-15mins and sleep not longer than 2 hours.

Honestly, I'll go crazy if I do this routine for the rest of the week.

God bless all single parents -- juggling professional work and raising a child. May you have the strength to do your job, courage to face challenges, good health to endure sleepless nights and patience to endure it all gracefully.

Tik-tok

So this must be how Jesus felt like during Agony in the Garden. This was the time after the Last Supper and Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane just before His arrest. He knew exactly what will happen, including the part where He will be crucified and die. The human side of Him wanted this part to pass Him by. But this has to happen as it is God's will.

I know Jesus' suffering was far more painful that what I will go through. But the waiting for the big painful event is just way too overwhelming for a human like me. My judgement day is just around the corner. I trust Him that giving birth to my precious one will be easy and painless as it can possibly be. And meeting my little one face to face will surely make the wait and the pain all worth it.

So what to do while waiting to pop?

1) Prepare hospital bag and the baby bag. If you already have done this, double check if you have all the things you need and want to have during labor. Hospital bag will contain the mom's going home clothes, comfortable nightgowns and underwear, toiletries, probably extra pillow and blanket. Baby's bag will hold his/her going home clothes and swaddling blanket. If you're very sensitive, obsessive compulsive on cleanliness and/or rooming-in your baby after s/he is born, bring everything your newborn will need (e.g. nappies, nappy pins, towels, swaddling blanket, onesies/ newborn clothes, mittens, socks, hat/bonnet, toiletries, etc.) Don't forget your admitting slip if you're given before hand, insurance documents, marriage certificate if applicable, camera, batteries/charger, mobile phone and be sure its loaded.

2) Ready the house for the baby's arrival. Steam clean your carpets, keep poisonous liquid out of reach of children, make sure sharp corners and electrical socket are covered, etc. Wash and/or sterilize (if applicable) all the baby's clothes, blankets, bottles, etc. Set-up the crib, changing table, car seat and all those baby gears.

3) Practice relaxation techniques. Whether you were taught in prenatal class or just read some relaxation techniques on some pregnancy website, practice them everytime you can -- in sitting, standing, while lying down. You never know what your position will be like when the labor pain starts.

4) Eat Healthy. Even if you're almost on the finish line, it's no excuse to stop eating healthy. The baby is still growing inside and needs those nutrients you are taking in. It's also good for you to keep on eating healthy to promote and be an example of healthy living for your child.

5) Exercise. Walking, squats, stretching are good exercises to prepare you for that big push.

6) Read/ research about labor, post natal and newborn care. It's about knowing what to expect so that you won't be clueless of what's happening during labor and what will happen when the baby is out. I bet that you won't have time to do research about all of these necessary stuff when you finally see your baby. Your eyes and attention will be all over him/her.

7) Pray. When all things fail, all you need is some Divine intervention. Pray for a smooth, uncomplicated delivery. Pray for a healthy and well newborn. Pray for strength and wisdom for all people going to deliver your baby.

Oh well, Im really excited and at the same time nervous as this is my first time to have a baby. I know everything will be well but I also know that i will go through a lot of pain that I wish I will not go through.

Thy will be done.

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak."

finish line

With my due date just around the corner, I can't help but feel proud of myself for not losing "it" yet -- my sanity. This pregnancy has been a wild rollercoaster ride and couldn't have survived it without mySweetie. He's the most supportive, caring and understanding soon-to-be-father I have ever known. With a man like him, pregnancy is just so magical and wonderful -- though I swore to him I will not going to do this again .... not anytime soon.

As of press time, my not so little bump is (still) throwing punches again. Maybe s/he is excited to come out and see for him/herself how wonderful it is to be loved by his/her dad. We had spent too much time together and maybe s/he  is getting bored with my stories, dances and caresses. I will surely miss him/her in my belly.

I think its (much) easier to take care of him/her while s/he is inside my womb than outside. But I have to let her go after some time right and let him/her experience this world. Just dont grow up too fast my little one, please!?

I'm excited and scared for everything unfolding before me. But the best is yet to come, right!?

I love u myNatnat.  Can't wait to hold you in my arms. You will forever be mommy's baby.

Lessons from a pop-star

On a  post-split interview of Jennifer Lopez, she said that "Marriage is tough... It's not going to be perfect... It's definitely challenging."

And it's true...  not just for celebrities but for normal people as well. We had also tough times in our course of almost 5 years of marriage. It included financial instability, long distance relationship and a lot of mood swings (on both sides). But that didn't cost us our marriage for we always choose our love and commitment to each other. I pray that it will stay that way forever.

So the secret to a happy marriage is.... will always be a secret.  I don't even know it or if the secret to long lasting relationships really do exist. But what I can suggest are the following to at least have a close to a happily ever after.

1) Choose your own partner. I guess not all have the freedom to do that because of culture and religion. But if you do have the luxury of choosing, choose very well. Choose wisely. Having a list of all the traits you want and what you don't want in your partner will guide you in picking the right one for you. And set how many of those traits, let's say about 4/5 of those in the list you really want to see. Keep your list real. And do not settle. Don't be pressured by time, age, and peers about choosing YOUR partner. You'll be spending the rest of your life with this person and making a bad choice is like throwing a stone on your head. I'm not guaranteeing that you will find ALL the traits in one person but at least close enough to your ideal partner.

2) Be yourself. Whether you're still looking or already tied into marriage. I'm sure your partner has his own "list" too. And finding out that the "list" you aced before wasn't even the real you later on spells disaster and disappointment. Spare yourself of the agony of being someone you're not.

3) Communication is essential.With your partner, not with the next door neighbor or something. There are times that you feel upset about what your partner did. But instead of pointing out to your partner what was wrong, you tell someone else (who probably doesn't really care) what happened and what you felt. Which leaves your partner clueless of what happened. The marriage/ relationship is about you and your partner. Why do you need an outsider to be involved with it? And when you're totally happy or you just feel being nice and sweet, tell him/her. Don't be shy of telling your partner how you feel, especially those sweet nothings. Those words that make you feel butterflies in your stomach is just awesome.

4) Compromise. Always remember that the two of you are two different individuals. You'll have your set of own opinions that are probably different from your partner's. Respect that. If you have to make one single decision, learn to compromise. It's either you choose halfway or let your partner win over this single instance. Then you'll probably have your turn next time.

5)  Give each other space and support. Don't be too clingy and dependent even though men loves to be your hero. Don't be too caring and over protective even though women likes being pampered, having a constant companion and shielded from harm. There are times when people just need space or be alone for them to grow as a person. Give your 100% support in all his/her personal decisions. By the way, don't be envious of the other's success or blame the other for unwanted failures.

6)  Do things to make him/her fall in love with you all over again. Remember the time you first dated? What were you wearing? what did you give her on your first anniversary? When was the last time you held his hand? Did you kiss him goodnight? Have you cooked his favorite dish lately?  It's not those grand things really. It is in those little things you did that really made him/her fall in love with you. Simple isn't it?! Why not start today?!

7)  Spice it up a little. Who wants monotony? I don't. Do something extraordinary or unexpected just to give that going stale relationship a boost. It could be a trip abroad just for the two of you, a handwritten love letter under his office drawer, role-playing, dance class for couples, having babies, etc.Be creative. You will surely think of something nice (and spicy) if you just open your mind and let your imagination go wild. But don't over do it or put yourself in a very awkward position/ situation (literally and figuratively).

8) Never turn to violence. Whether in words or action. Enough said.

9) Always choose to love. It is the reason why you're in that marriage isn't it? So why let other things get in the way? Love when things are going as you have imagined it. Love when things are perfectly fine. Love even if it's not valentines day. Love even when it's not easy. Love even when it's difficult to impossible. Love unconditionally.

10) Keep the faith. You need something to keep you and your relationship grounded. It can be your faith/religion. Put God, or whoever that divine being you count on, in the center of your lives. Pray together -- before and after meals, before sleeping, upon waking up, when good things come your way or when arguments are about to really heat up. Praying helps you stay focus and reflect on what is really important in your lives.

These are just suggestions that I think is working for me/us. You can try or add more.

Have a happily ever after. :D

" Sometimes it doesn't work -- and that's sad...But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I am positive -- determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies, and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer, and person. I now look forward to new challenges." -J.Lo

for new dads

The nicest thing about being pregnant is you get to see and know how loving your partner is. In spite of you being hormonal, huge and whining all the time and all, he still sees you as the most beautiful "creature" in this entire world.He appreciates your effort and sacrifices in giving up your comfort zone just to give a safe and healthy environment to his soon to be born child..

(There are times) I just love being pregnant and having the most understanding husband. I simply have the great things life has to offer... but the best is yet to come.

From my experience I suggest to soon to be dads (first timers and veterans) to take note of the following so as to keep your pregnant partner happy and prepare yourself for the new life ahead.

1) Always tell your partner how beautiful she is. No matter what shape, size and color she is in, try to see the beauty in her and be vocal about it. Say it out loud so that she can hear it. Nothing makes her happy but to know that she is still the most beautiful and sexiest woman in your eyes. As Jeff Allen once said, a happy wife is a happy life.

2) Know that, It is just hormones. Really. She is not irrational or paranoid or psychotic. It is just the changes in hormone levels. Believe that after the nine months, the mood swings will all be over. Really.

3) Be involve with the pregnancy. Remember, half of what your partner is carrying came from you. It is advised for you to learn about how this pregnancy progresses. You'll be amazed how important you are in the baby's life before he/ she is born. There are a lot of materials available for you to learn about pregnancy and being a new dad. Better yet, accompany your partner to all prenatal visits to the OB/Gyne. Sometimes the pregnant woman gets overwhelmed with her new role and she doesn't hear or absorb the doctor's advises for better pregnancy. It's better somebody else listens to the doctor with her for better follow up at home. It is also good that you know personally your OB/Gyne. Remember, the life of your partner and your child is in her/his hands, partly.

4) Support her in any way you can. From bringing her to the doctor, giving in to odd requests, quitting smoking, choosing color schemes for the nursery, giving her back and foot rubs, etc. Imagine putting yourself in her shoes, gaining 10-15kilos or more, not getting enough sleep, suffering from morning sickness, not being able to eat and drink like you used to, feeling the kicks & punches from within etc. You'll be glad that you're not a woman.

5) Breathe. and celebrate the new life that is yet to come. Being a new dad is really overwhelming and life changing. But it doesn't mean that your life will be over. It will just get better.

http://www.freakingnews.com/Pregnant-Austin-Powers-in-Maternity-Tights-Pictures-46706.asp

Congratulations to new fathers. Enjoy the ride. :D

hormone rollercoaster

Throughout this so-called surge-of-hormones-and-mood-swings a.k.a. pregnancy, there are moments ( a lot of them) when you just want to breakdown and just be swallowed up by all the chaos and uncertainty of .. I don't know exactly. It's the hormones (the one I always blame).

One time I just felt so unpretty. I wasn't getting enough sleep, if I ever get some. So my eyebags are the size of a 30kilos luggage. They are very dark too. And I have a huge growing belly so imagine kung fu panda in the flesh. Geessh. And nobody seems to understand why I am grumpy all the time. Who would be jolly and gay if no concealer can cover up those no-sleep eyes, oversized belly and unflattering preggy outifts?! It sounds lame but there are times that your outer appearance boosts your mood and confidence. Without those looks, everything is just disastrous.

Besides being unpretty, there goes unloved. I just feel that the entire world hates me for no apparent reason. Oh well, it's just a feeling. (I hope!) Nobody seems to understand that I hate the smell of fish even I'm already on the final stretch of my pregnancy. Some pregnant women feel  queasy and the "morning sickness" even when on you're on your third trimester already. Well, I do.  Nobody seems to understand that i need to sleep during the day coz I really can't sleep at night no matter what I do. People expect me to get up from bed and do household chores like I used to pre-pregnancy state. Hello?! I'm preggo, can't you see?! People tend to hate me for being grumpy most of the time. Nobody seems to understand that my mood swings are just part of pregnancy and will be over once the baby comes out. 

Unpretty,  unloved and to top it all unsuccessful. I feel that my life is over --my career, that is. Once this baby pops out, I think I will not be able to go back to work soon. And as I wait 'til my baby is big enough to be left with a trusted guardian, I will be too old to get another job. I still want to do a lot of things with my life. I still want to work and get ahead with my career. Travel the world, perhaps. Buy a bigger house and drive my very own car. Dreams will always be just dreams. It's just isn't fair that I have to give up "my life" to give "life" to someone else. Why was I ever made to be a woman?

Good thing mySweetie is ever so loving and understanding. I know I get on his nerves all the time. And all I said above will be another factor for hating me. But he stays cool and calm throughout his ordeals with me. I think he keeps on repeating to himself, "It's just the hormones. It will be over soon". And according to www.babycenter.com, it is very common to have those mood swings because of the changes of chemicals in my preggo brain. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close. Exactly.

So I beg you, if ever you know anyone who is pregnant and you just couldn't keep up with her (and her moodiness and depression states), just keep in mind that it is all temporary and will be gone as soon as that little bundle of joy comes out. Seeing that cutesie will definitely melt her heart (and yours too probably). You can just stay calm and ignore her or at least pretend you understand and console her. You can also opt to just stay as far away from her to avoid any confrontations... but please close enough 'coz that moody monster may be just seeking attention. 

Love at first sight

The first 3D look of our first child.

Priceless.

My prenatal check up with the OB/Gyne was 1 week earlier than scheduled. Her secretary called me up this morning asking if I can come  today 'coz the doctor's office will be under renovation next week and I might miss an important check up. I grabbed it even though it was stormy and all since my MD's office is around 10mins away from home. I was excited anyway to know how I was going with my pregnancy. The last time I went to her, I needed to make my little tummy grow bigger since it looks like small for his/her age.

My baby and me are perfectly fine. My little tummy grew bigger and we are on the right track. Thank God. :) Even my weight is constantly going up -- 1-1.5lb/ week. That's pretty much the goal now on my third trimester. Well, all the snacking and munching is paying off.

And since I was already out of the house, might as well do some window shopping at the nearby mall. I didn't know there was a new clinic for 3D UTZ available now in that mall. And since I have nothing to do and my OB/Gyne said it is okay (but not necessary) to have another UTZ (since my previous UTZ were fine), I decided to have one. Just for the baby in the belly pictures... not for diagnostic or something.

I was actually just burning away money when you think about it. But when I saw the chubby cheeks in my tummy.... aaawww. That 10min experience was priceless. I didn't expect s/he will look so ... like his/her dad. haha. I just fell in love. And s/he was very playful inside. He is really his daddy's little angel. :D

My family of two will be seeing the 3rd wheel soon.

much ado about belly bump

It feels like forever.

I'm at the beginning of third trimester already and I feel I've been pregnant forever. It's so tiring trying to eat healthier, carrying the extra 20lbs around, peeing every 10 minutes or so and puking whenever I feel like puking. Seriously, when will this be over?!

I blurt that out every time things get so overwhelming.

But when I seriously think about it... yes, the 9months is like forever that you will really get used to. Here are some of my "favorite" preggy routines I have developed:

1) Water overload. I was never a fan of "uncolored" drinks. I only drink coffee, soda, coffee, juice, coffee, margarita, coffee and uhmm coffee. So this time, I have no other choice but to give all those up (for awhile) and have a glass of water... for around 10 times a day. It helps me hydrated and prevents pregnancy annoyances (e.g cramps, constipation, UTI, etc.)

2) Waking up every 2-3 hours just to go to the loo. I hate getting my sleep interrupted. But I'd rather get up and go to the toilet than pee on my bed. Its a lot of work cleaning that up. And embarrassing too. And I believe excreting those excess water in my body will help me not to have edematous hands and legs which are common to pregnant women.

3) Eating every 2-3 hours. Yes, just like the peeing, I'm probably busy munching on something now and also 3 hours ago and 3 hours after. I just have to make sure though that these are healthy snacks like yoghurt, nuts, crackers, fruits, veggies and chocolates. Okay, the last one is not really a good choice for a healthy snack.

4) Vomitting at 12noon and 12mn. Yes, just as my peeing and eating are timed. My puking has also its own time. What can I do? even my pregnancy signs and symptoms wants order and routine. Crackers and cereals were my ever reliable defense for the vomitting marathon.

5) Trying out clothes in my closet every other day. It used to be every other week. But as I get bigger and bigger, I need to make sure something nice and clean will fit me at least for the next 2 days. I just couldn't predict whenever I feel like going out as I was always sleepy and tired. And when that happens, I should have something to wear that fits my growing belly well. Or else, I cry. When all things fail, I put on my husbands clothes and i still look adorable -- in my husband's eyes of course.

6) Shopping. Well, it's nothing new...except that its shopping for the future mini-Me or mini-Hubby. Half of my monthly salary (at least) goes to all the gears and stuff for the baby (and other times for the mommy). Spoiler mom and dad. Oh well, this is our first baby and we want to make sure we are preparing right. We tried getting the good quality stuff (and they are a bit pricey) because we might be able to use them again in the (later) future.

7) Weekends at home. I have chosen movies at home with my hubby over late night outs and weekends with friends. You don't get to feel the baby kicks and punches very often (or so I thought) and we just want to cherish those moments together. I feltl those butterfly like flutters around 4th month. In pregnancy terms, it's called quickening. And you will feel them around the 20th week. But since i was really thin pre-pregnancy, I felt it a lot earlier. And those movements will get stronger and more often on the later parts of pregnancy. Then I believe will slow down a bit on the last few weeks (I'm not there yet as of press time) as there's no more space in your uterus for those kickboxing routine.

8) Skin care regimen. Moisturizer is my new best friend. I hate those girly stuff like facial scrubs, sunblocks and moisturizer. But a good skin care regimen is really a must to have a fresh looking, smooth feeling and stretch mark free skin. No matter how hot (or humid) or how heavy sometimes lotion becomes, I make it a habit to slather lotion all over my body. Oh thank God for moisturizers and good genes -- I'm stretch mark free, so far.

9) Belly Dancing. Oh no.. not me. The baby in my tummy I mean. It just feels so nice and magical -- feeling that little creature practicing his/her moves inside your tummy before he makes his grand entrance. It is painful sometimes but WTH, he might got those dancing steps from me. Oh and by the way, belly dancing is a good prenatal conditioning exercise. I'm just too lazy to move this growing hips now.

10) Yoga. Now this is for me. I tried doing these yoga positions which helped me stretch and relax my muscles. It also helped me getting a good sleep at night.

So when this pregnancy is over, what do I do then?! I think I have forgotten what it is like not being pregnant. And i will surely miss all those prenatal activities.

I guess I have to enjoy every moment of pregnancy now and try not to rush it. Take time to smell the flowers er?!

It will be over sooner than I think and for sure, I will be making another set of postnatal activities.

I will surely miss Natnat in my tummy when the time comes.