Of Bestfriends and Heartbreaks

Our daughter has always been excited to go to school. She's excited to learn, play and most specially, to see her classmates. She's most fond of of her seatmate, Orange. Most of her after school stories are about her, what they did, what they talked about, why she's late or absent, how they look a like and how her other classmates are confused with them because they look like twins. Our daughter would also tell us that they argue at times but she would always say nice things about her because she is her best friend. All her classmates are naughty except, of course, her and Orange. It is so cute that our daughter found her first best friend after just 2 days of knowing her. My daughter is happy to have a best friend. She even gave her a special friendship bracelet the other day to remember her by --- not that she's going away anywhere.

Things have (quickly) changed though.  "Mom, my other classmate gave Orange rubber band and she said I'm not her best friend anymore.", our little one said.  I felt the sadness in my daughter's voice. My heart sank. It feels like this is her first heartbreak. Just the other day she was thinking of what to give Orange for her birthday then a day after she's not her friend anymore. They didn't even had a fight. Orange just decided that she's not my daughter's best friend anymore. She tried to be strong as if she's not really affected by it and rarely talked about Orange anymore. I told her that maybe Orange will change her mind and they'll be best friends again or maybe she will find another one. I'm still feeling heart broken while saying those. She said she's just upset but she'll be fine. She even convinced me that she has other friends anyway, like Selena. I thought she wouldn't want to go to school anymore because of it. She still wanted to. (Thank God!)

Our daughter is really matured for her age. She can gracefully accept rejection and move on easily. I hope she keeps that attitude until she's a grown up -- where there'll be more heartbreaks and rejection.

Sweetheart, always remember this... all your other best friends will come and go as they like (and I can't protect you from heart breaks such as this) but I promise you, mommy and daddy will be your bestest best friend forever and ever and nothing can ever change that. We love you so much.

My Sky Bridge Experience

This is my second time to go up the Sky Bridge here in the Kingdom. The first time was several years ago when the entrance fee was half the price of what it is now. (That was a very quick price increase!) The Sky Bridge is one of the must see places here in the Kingdom. It stands at 300 meters, 65 meters in length and overlooks the entire city of Riyadh.

 The most special about this second trip is that I get to experience it with my family

 and this romantic surprise...

Marry me again

view from the 99th floor

I knew about the ring since we've been planning a fancy ceremony to celebrate our anniversary this year. I just didn't anticipate that he would actually get down on one knee in front of strangers, strangers who don't usually see proposals like this as they have different proposal and marriage practices. He was so nervous that he wasn't able to say his speech. It doesn't matter. I'll always say Yes to him anyway. I wanted to cry but I was laughing the entire time. I was just so happy that someone will do such a romantic thing for me. I truly chose the right man.
 I love you, Sweetie.

Project for 2016

I've kept mum about this for a few months now. I really wanted to make this a surprise at least until we made major bookings done.  but hubby let the word out already. hihihi. 

mood board 2016 

I'll be posting some ideas here to take notes of what we like and what we've decided on just in case someone "accidentally" deletes my notes from several months of planning.

everdearest natnat on 2nd month

“This is an official entry to Dainty Mom’s “Write your Mommy Mission Statement” contest”


To my everdearest Natnat,

Maybe you are too young to understand but old enough to notice the changes in our lives. It will be just you and me for the next eight months (or a little longer). Your dad, the one who plays rough games with you, the one who sings songs only he who knows the words and the one who causes pimples on your cheeks because of his mustache touching your face when he endlessly kiss you, happens to be a responsible father. He has to unwillingly go back to work far away to give us a better life.

Don't worry, he will be back soon.

For the meantime, you have to bear waking up every morning and spending 24/7 with your not so beautiful mommy. The loneliness of not having your daddy around and the sleepless nights to feed you and change your nappies has caused some unwanted changes to mommy's face and body.

Now that you are two months old, mommy promises you that:

I will be the most beautiful mommy you will ever have. (As if you have a choice?!)

You're not trading moms with the next door neighbor though.

Mommy will take time to comb her hair so that I will look pretty and beautiful. My hair will no longer poke you or won't irritate your skin anymore when I hold you. I don't want you to grow up with ugly scars.

Mommy will take (long) showers to feel clean, fresh and feeling beautiful. You will less likely to get sick when I'm clean when I play with you. Prevention (from sickness) is the best cure.

Mommy will eat healthy so that I will lose weight and have beautiful skin. You'll also be nourished well as I breastfeed you and you will learn healthy eating habits at an early age.

Mommy will exercise to remove all the pregnancy fats and to have a beautiful body.  It will also make me stronger so I can carry you when putting you to sleep and when we go around town.

Mommy will pamper herself (once in a while) to look beautiful. It will put me in a better mood so I can take care of you better.

Mommy will surround herself with beautiful people -- people with good looks and good heart. I'm hoping I will absorb their beauty & positivity so that you will (hopefully) reflect our good and beautiful vibes.

I will simply be the most beautiful mommy you'll ever have (inside and out) and I will make everything around you beautiful  for the rest of your life... because you are the most beautiful thing that ever happened to our lives.

Happy 2nd month myNatnat. Mommy and Daddy loves you.

Love,
Mommy

finish line

With my due date just around the corner, I can't help but feel proud of myself for not losing "it" yet -- my sanity. This pregnancy has been a wild rollercoaster ride and couldn't have survived it without mySweetie. He's the most supportive, caring and understanding soon-to-be-father I have ever known. With a man like him, pregnancy is just so magical and wonderful -- though I swore to him I will not going to do this again .... not anytime soon.

As of press time, my not so little bump is (still) throwing punches again. Maybe s/he is excited to come out and see for him/herself how wonderful it is to be loved by his/her dad. We had spent too much time together and maybe s/he  is getting bored with my stories, dances and caresses. I will surely miss him/her in my belly.

I think its (much) easier to take care of him/her while s/he is inside my womb than outside. But I have to let her go after some time right and let him/her experience this world. Just dont grow up too fast my little one, please!?

I'm excited and scared for everything unfolding before me. But the best is yet to come, right!?

I love u myNatnat.  Can't wait to hold you in my arms. You will forever be mommy's baby.

everdearest natnat

To our everdearest Natnat,

Five to six weeks from now, Mommy will finally see the only person that made her believe in love at first sight. Yes, it's you myNatnat -- not your daddy.

These last few weeks have been interesting for us with the surge of my mood swings, your playfulness and those final practices of contraction. Your daddy must have bought a lot of patience to bear with the two of us. You are one lucky kid to have daddy like yours. Love him with all your heart as she loves him as much as she loves you.

Mommy has been also trying to guess which body part you're using to poke her. She think it's your foot on her right rib, your elbow on the lower left abdomen and shoulder on the navel. She tried tickling and tracing to guess them but she thinks she over did it. You now try to hide your appendages and try not to poke her again on those places. But you can't hide anymore in her overstretched tummy. Mommy is too small to carry a big healthy baby like you.

mommy hopes you enjoy the hammock mommy is making for you. She read that if she does certain positions, it will create a hammock for you and if she moves or rock a little, you'll be in a better position and be able to sleep better. It's a little weird and uncomfortable in those positions. But anything for you my little one. I guess maternal instincts is stronger now than before.

mommy and daddy hopes that they will be good parents to you and provide you with all your needs. You deserve all the good things in this world, nothing less. Just please be good to mommy and daddy.

Daddy is excited to carry you Natnat. Mommy has been carrying you for quite a while now...it's daddy's turn soon. Mommy thinks it will be really nice to see you two together. It will be the happiest day to have Mommy's two favorite people with her. She hopes you can all be together all the time.

I love you Natnat. I love you mySweetie. I can't wait to hold you both in my arms

~Mommy

*the sweetie is an OFW and will be coming home in a few weeks to be with the wifey for the grand entrance of the baby.

Lessons from a pop-star

On a  post-split interview of Jennifer Lopez, she said that "Marriage is tough... It's not going to be perfect... It's definitely challenging."

And it's true...  not just for celebrities but for normal people as well. We had also tough times in our course of almost 5 years of marriage. It included financial instability, long distance relationship and a lot of mood swings (on both sides). But that didn't cost us our marriage for we always choose our love and commitment to each other. I pray that it will stay that way forever.

So the secret to a happy marriage is.... will always be a secret.  I don't even know it or if the secret to long lasting relationships really do exist. But what I can suggest are the following to at least have a close to a happily ever after.

1) Choose your own partner. I guess not all have the freedom to do that because of culture and religion. But if you do have the luxury of choosing, choose very well. Choose wisely. Having a list of all the traits you want and what you don't want in your partner will guide you in picking the right one for you. And set how many of those traits, let's say about 4/5 of those in the list you really want to see. Keep your list real. And do not settle. Don't be pressured by time, age, and peers about choosing YOUR partner. You'll be spending the rest of your life with this person and making a bad choice is like throwing a stone on your head. I'm not guaranteeing that you will find ALL the traits in one person but at least close enough to your ideal partner.

2) Be yourself. Whether you're still looking or already tied into marriage. I'm sure your partner has his own "list" too. And finding out that the "list" you aced before wasn't even the real you later on spells disaster and disappointment. Spare yourself of the agony of being someone you're not.

3) Communication is essential.With your partner, not with the next door neighbor or something. There are times that you feel upset about what your partner did. But instead of pointing out to your partner what was wrong, you tell someone else (who probably doesn't really care) what happened and what you felt. Which leaves your partner clueless of what happened. The marriage/ relationship is about you and your partner. Why do you need an outsider to be involved with it? And when you're totally happy or you just feel being nice and sweet, tell him/her. Don't be shy of telling your partner how you feel, especially those sweet nothings. Those words that make you feel butterflies in your stomach is just awesome.

4) Compromise. Always remember that the two of you are two different individuals. You'll have your set of own opinions that are probably different from your partner's. Respect that. If you have to make one single decision, learn to compromise. It's either you choose halfway or let your partner win over this single instance. Then you'll probably have your turn next time.

5)  Give each other space and support. Don't be too clingy and dependent even though men loves to be your hero. Don't be too caring and over protective even though women likes being pampered, having a constant companion and shielded from harm. There are times when people just need space or be alone for them to grow as a person. Give your 100% support in all his/her personal decisions. By the way, don't be envious of the other's success or blame the other for unwanted failures.

6)  Do things to make him/her fall in love with you all over again. Remember the time you first dated? What were you wearing? what did you give her on your first anniversary? When was the last time you held his hand? Did you kiss him goodnight? Have you cooked his favorite dish lately?  It's not those grand things really. It is in those little things you did that really made him/her fall in love with you. Simple isn't it?! Why not start today?!

7)  Spice it up a little. Who wants monotony? I don't. Do something extraordinary or unexpected just to give that going stale relationship a boost. It could be a trip abroad just for the two of you, a handwritten love letter under his office drawer, role-playing, dance class for couples, having babies, etc.Be creative. You will surely think of something nice (and spicy) if you just open your mind and let your imagination go wild. But don't over do it or put yourself in a very awkward position/ situation (literally and figuratively).

8) Never turn to violence. Whether in words or action. Enough said.

9) Always choose to love. It is the reason why you're in that marriage isn't it? So why let other things get in the way? Love when things are going as you have imagined it. Love when things are perfectly fine. Love even if it's not valentines day. Love even when it's not easy. Love even when it's difficult to impossible. Love unconditionally.

10) Keep the faith. You need something to keep you and your relationship grounded. It can be your faith/religion. Put God, or whoever that divine being you count on, in the center of your lives. Pray together -- before and after meals, before sleeping, upon waking up, when good things come your way or when arguments are about to really heat up. Praying helps you stay focus and reflect on what is really important in your lives.

These are just suggestions that I think is working for me/us. You can try or add more.

Have a happily ever after. :D

" Sometimes it doesn't work -- and that's sad...But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I am positive -- determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies, and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer, and person. I now look forward to new challenges." -J.Lo

for new dads

The nicest thing about being pregnant is you get to see and know how loving your partner is. In spite of you being hormonal, huge and whining all the time and all, he still sees you as the most beautiful "creature" in this entire world.He appreciates your effort and sacrifices in giving up your comfort zone just to give a safe and healthy environment to his soon to be born child..

(There are times) I just love being pregnant and having the most understanding husband. I simply have the great things life has to offer... but the best is yet to come.

From my experience I suggest to soon to be dads (first timers and veterans) to take note of the following so as to keep your pregnant partner happy and prepare yourself for the new life ahead.

1) Always tell your partner how beautiful she is. No matter what shape, size and color she is in, try to see the beauty in her and be vocal about it. Say it out loud so that she can hear it. Nothing makes her happy but to know that she is still the most beautiful and sexiest woman in your eyes. As Jeff Allen once said, a happy wife is a happy life.

2) Know that, It is just hormones. Really. She is not irrational or paranoid or psychotic. It is just the changes in hormone levels. Believe that after the nine months, the mood swings will all be over. Really.

3) Be involve with the pregnancy. Remember, half of what your partner is carrying came from you. It is advised for you to learn about how this pregnancy progresses. You'll be amazed how important you are in the baby's life before he/ she is born. There are a lot of materials available for you to learn about pregnancy and being a new dad. Better yet, accompany your partner to all prenatal visits to the OB/Gyne. Sometimes the pregnant woman gets overwhelmed with her new role and she doesn't hear or absorb the doctor's advises for better pregnancy. It's better somebody else listens to the doctor with her for better follow up at home. It is also good that you know personally your OB/Gyne. Remember, the life of your partner and your child is in her/his hands, partly.

4) Support her in any way you can. From bringing her to the doctor, giving in to odd requests, quitting smoking, choosing color schemes for the nursery, giving her back and foot rubs, etc. Imagine putting yourself in her shoes, gaining 10-15kilos or more, not getting enough sleep, suffering from morning sickness, not being able to eat and drink like you used to, feeling the kicks & punches from within etc. You'll be glad that you're not a woman.

5) Breathe. and celebrate the new life that is yet to come. Being a new dad is really overwhelming and life changing. But it doesn't mean that your life will be over. It will just get better.

http://www.freakingnews.com/Pregnant-Austin-Powers-in-Maternity-Tights-Pictures-46706.asp

Congratulations to new fathers. Enjoy the ride. :D

hormone rollercoaster

Throughout this so-called surge-of-hormones-and-mood-swings a.k.a. pregnancy, there are moments ( a lot of them) when you just want to breakdown and just be swallowed up by all the chaos and uncertainty of .. I don't know exactly. It's the hormones (the one I always blame).

One time I just felt so unpretty. I wasn't getting enough sleep, if I ever get some. So my eyebags are the size of a 30kilos luggage. They are very dark too. And I have a huge growing belly so imagine kung fu panda in the flesh. Geessh. And nobody seems to understand why I am grumpy all the time. Who would be jolly and gay if no concealer can cover up those no-sleep eyes, oversized belly and unflattering preggy outifts?! It sounds lame but there are times that your outer appearance boosts your mood and confidence. Without those looks, everything is just disastrous.

Besides being unpretty, there goes unloved. I just feel that the entire world hates me for no apparent reason. Oh well, it's just a feeling. (I hope!) Nobody seems to understand that I hate the smell of fish even I'm already on the final stretch of my pregnancy. Some pregnant women feel  queasy and the "morning sickness" even when on you're on your third trimester already. Well, I do.  Nobody seems to understand that i need to sleep during the day coz I really can't sleep at night no matter what I do. People expect me to get up from bed and do household chores like I used to pre-pregnancy state. Hello?! I'm preggo, can't you see?! People tend to hate me for being grumpy most of the time. Nobody seems to understand that my mood swings are just part of pregnancy and will be over once the baby comes out. 

Unpretty,  unloved and to top it all unsuccessful. I feel that my life is over --my career, that is. Once this baby pops out, I think I will not be able to go back to work soon. And as I wait 'til my baby is big enough to be left with a trusted guardian, I will be too old to get another job. I still want to do a lot of things with my life. I still want to work and get ahead with my career. Travel the world, perhaps. Buy a bigger house and drive my very own car. Dreams will always be just dreams. It's just isn't fair that I have to give up "my life" to give "life" to someone else. Why was I ever made to be a woman?

Good thing mySweetie is ever so loving and understanding. I know I get on his nerves all the time. And all I said above will be another factor for hating me. But he stays cool and calm throughout his ordeals with me. I think he keeps on repeating to himself, "It's just the hormones. It will be over soon". And according to www.babycenter.com, it is very common to have those mood swings because of the changes of chemicals in my preggo brain. Most find that moodiness flares up at around 6 to 10 weeks, eases up in the second trimester, and then reappears as their pregnancy winds to a close. Exactly.

So I beg you, if ever you know anyone who is pregnant and you just couldn't keep up with her (and her moodiness and depression states), just keep in mind that it is all temporary and will be gone as soon as that little bundle of joy comes out. Seeing that cutesie will definitely melt her heart (and yours too probably). You can just stay calm and ignore her or at least pretend you understand and console her. You can also opt to just stay as far away from her to avoid any confrontations... but please close enough 'coz that moody monster may be just seeking attention. 

Love at first sight

The first 3D look of our first child.

Priceless.

My prenatal check up with the OB/Gyne was 1 week earlier than scheduled. Her secretary called me up this morning asking if I can come  today 'coz the doctor's office will be under renovation next week and I might miss an important check up. I grabbed it even though it was stormy and all since my MD's office is around 10mins away from home. I was excited anyway to know how I was going with my pregnancy. The last time I went to her, I needed to make my little tummy grow bigger since it looks like small for his/her age.

My baby and me are perfectly fine. My little tummy grew bigger and we are on the right track. Thank God. :) Even my weight is constantly going up -- 1-1.5lb/ week. That's pretty much the goal now on my third trimester. Well, all the snacking and munching is paying off.

And since I was already out of the house, might as well do some window shopping at the nearby mall. I didn't know there was a new clinic for 3D UTZ available now in that mall. And since I have nothing to do and my OB/Gyne said it is okay (but not necessary) to have another UTZ (since my previous UTZ were fine), I decided to have one. Just for the baby in the belly pictures... not for diagnostic or something.

I was actually just burning away money when you think about it. But when I saw the chubby cheeks in my tummy.... aaawww. That 10min experience was priceless. I didn't expect s/he will look so ... like his/her dad. haha. I just fell in love. And s/he was very playful inside. He is really his daddy's little angel. :D

My family of two will be seeing the 3rd wheel soon.

much ado about belly bump

It feels like forever.

I'm at the beginning of third trimester already and I feel I've been pregnant forever. It's so tiring trying to eat healthier, carrying the extra 20lbs around, peeing every 10 minutes or so and puking whenever I feel like puking. Seriously, when will this be over?!

I blurt that out every time things get so overwhelming.

But when I seriously think about it... yes, the 9months is like forever that you will really get used to. Here are some of my "favorite" preggy routines I have developed:

1) Water overload. I was never a fan of "uncolored" drinks. I only drink coffee, soda, coffee, juice, coffee, margarita, coffee and uhmm coffee. So this time, I have no other choice but to give all those up (for awhile) and have a glass of water... for around 10 times a day. It helps me hydrated and prevents pregnancy annoyances (e.g cramps, constipation, UTI, etc.)

2) Waking up every 2-3 hours just to go to the loo. I hate getting my sleep interrupted. But I'd rather get up and go to the toilet than pee on my bed. Its a lot of work cleaning that up. And embarrassing too. And I believe excreting those excess water in my body will help me not to have edematous hands and legs which are common to pregnant women.

3) Eating every 2-3 hours. Yes, just like the peeing, I'm probably busy munching on something now and also 3 hours ago and 3 hours after. I just have to make sure though that these are healthy snacks like yoghurt, nuts, crackers, fruits, veggies and chocolates. Okay, the last one is not really a good choice for a healthy snack.

4) Vomitting at 12noon and 12mn. Yes, just as my peeing and eating are timed. My puking has also its own time. What can I do? even my pregnancy signs and symptoms wants order and routine. Crackers and cereals were my ever reliable defense for the vomitting marathon.

5) Trying out clothes in my closet every other day. It used to be every other week. But as I get bigger and bigger, I need to make sure something nice and clean will fit me at least for the next 2 days. I just couldn't predict whenever I feel like going out as I was always sleepy and tired. And when that happens, I should have something to wear that fits my growing belly well. Or else, I cry. When all things fail, I put on my husbands clothes and i still look adorable -- in my husband's eyes of course.

6) Shopping. Well, it's nothing new...except that its shopping for the future mini-Me or mini-Hubby. Half of my monthly salary (at least) goes to all the gears and stuff for the baby (and other times for the mommy). Spoiler mom and dad. Oh well, this is our first baby and we want to make sure we are preparing right. We tried getting the good quality stuff (and they are a bit pricey) because we might be able to use them again in the (later) future.

7) Weekends at home. I have chosen movies at home with my hubby over late night outs and weekends with friends. You don't get to feel the baby kicks and punches very often (or so I thought) and we just want to cherish those moments together. I feltl those butterfly like flutters around 4th month. In pregnancy terms, it's called quickening. And you will feel them around the 20th week. But since i was really thin pre-pregnancy, I felt it a lot earlier. And those movements will get stronger and more often on the later parts of pregnancy. Then I believe will slow down a bit on the last few weeks (I'm not there yet as of press time) as there's no more space in your uterus for those kickboxing routine.

8) Skin care regimen. Moisturizer is my new best friend. I hate those girly stuff like facial scrubs, sunblocks and moisturizer. But a good skin care regimen is really a must to have a fresh looking, smooth feeling and stretch mark free skin. No matter how hot (or humid) or how heavy sometimes lotion becomes, I make it a habit to slather lotion all over my body. Oh thank God for moisturizers and good genes -- I'm stretch mark free, so far.

9) Belly Dancing. Oh no.. not me. The baby in my tummy I mean. It just feels so nice and magical -- feeling that little creature practicing his/her moves inside your tummy before he makes his grand entrance. It is painful sometimes but WTH, he might got those dancing steps from me. Oh and by the way, belly dancing is a good prenatal conditioning exercise. I'm just too lazy to move this growing hips now.

10) Yoga. Now this is for me. I tried doing these yoga positions which helped me stretch and relax my muscles. It also helped me getting a good sleep at night.

So when this pregnancy is over, what do I do then?! I think I have forgotten what it is like not being pregnant. And i will surely miss all those prenatal activities.

I guess I have to enjoy every moment of pregnancy now and try not to rush it. Take time to smell the flowers er?!

It will be over sooner than I think and for sure, I will be making another set of postnatal activities.

I will surely miss Natnat in my tummy when the time comes. 

vicious cycle

 I realized that, people needs to be in control of something. If their life doesn't go well as they wanted, they would try something else to conquer.. maybe a hobby that they know they will be good at. They stay as long as the hobby is going their way. But when it starts to get rough again, they try to find another one --ANOTHER one. They don't come back to the life they have had. It now becomes a pile of another, another, another broken one. They will not stop until they get SOMETHING ELSE right. And if nothing becomes right... then the broken saga goes on and on and on. 

super size me

I am very happy with my pregnancy. I guess every pregnant should be as they would bring another human being in the world. It's really magical how can a person, or me for example, can carry such a wonderful creature. You would see it grow, feel it move and after 40weeks, you would be able to hold it in your arms. You get also an excuse to buy those cutie little stuff.

But the downside, for me, as you get bigger and bigger, nothing fits you anymore. (Of course there are major downside of pregnancy like, morning sickness, headaches, frequent urination, etc.). I did buy some blouses, pants and dresses specially made for pregnant but they are not plenty enough for everyday use. They are all pretty and nice but its a waste if i wear them for everyday. My husband, who is ever so supportive, would allow me to splurge on maternity clothes. But i would rather buy baby clothes and gears than anything for preggy self as I thought, it would only be for a few months and after that I won't use them anymore. Or at least not anytime soon. But since i'm twice as large as I was before pregnancy, I have nothing to do but really buy bigger clothes. I literally cry every time I look into my closet and try out my clothes. 

In line with that, since Father's day is coming, I thought I should buy something for my husband --that I can use since he's out of the country until i give birth. It would be my gift to him, only I will use it first. LOL. 

Yesterday, i bought boxer shorts, a large one since my husband is a bit large now (but still cute and hot as ever). And it perfectly fits me. Yay! Well, half of me is happy coz I have something to wear. But half of me is a bit unhappy coz it only proves that I-AM-REALLY-HUGE-NOW. 

Good thing my husband is really sweet and still finds me adoring and sexy even with my size now. Actually, I think he loves me more tHan ever being pregnant, big and all. 

If bigger me means bigger love... I hope I would stay this size forever. Though a complete wardrobe overhaul would be really really nice.

30 minutes

I was chatting with a long time friend when out of nowhere he asked if I'm married. If not, when will i get married. I said, "tomorrow.", jokingly. He continued, if we dont get married now, when will we ever get married. He added we are already old (which I totally think I am not), should get married and have babies. I really wondered why we had that conversation. I smell something fishy. Anyway, I want to get married. But babies??? Not anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, I love kids -- they are the cutest thing in the world. But not for me... yet. Puhleeaassse! The waking up in the middle of the night is maybe the thing that scares me the most. THough I know i can do that -- I'm a zombie. I've been waking up for the last three years at weird hours of the night just to chat/ videocall via skype with my sweetie due to time differences. (yes..the perks of LDR!)I did not complain. He did. Okay, i rarely do. "Sweetie, im too sleepy. can we chat after 30mins. Power nap." Geessshh.

I surely can do all the things that require me to raise a child well... I have to, if the time comes. But what if I just don't want to get up from bed (I get tired too) and the baby needs a diaper change or milk cause he's hungry? Will the hubby wake up to do all that? Or can the baby wait after 30mins? "Baby, can you stop crying and whinning...I will attend to you after 30mins."
Raising kids is a 24/7 thing. There's no after 30 mins.

*Yes I smell something fishy. My friend is getting married soon. But why the hell does he have to justify to me his/ our age and that this is the right age to get married? There's no such thing as right age of getting married. You marry NOW because you love someone and you want to spend your entire lifetime with him/her. You marry NOW because you feel its the bestest thing in the world to do. Just my thoughts.

far away from home

In a world were polygamy is popular but not legal and the closest thing to a family is your next bed roommate, I wonder how a married OFW can remain faithful.

OFW or Oversees Filipino Worker is the trend nowadays in the Philippines. Filipinos who are naturally smart, resourceful, hospitable and easy to work with are a big hit to foreign employers. Who wouldn’t want a subordinate that can understand you (language-wise) at a cheaper rate, right?!
So, many Pinoys, mostly from the healthcare sector fly abroad and start a career so they can give a better life to their wives and families they left behind. One of the predictable destinations is the Middle East. Aside from its good offer (free accommodation, free transportation and decent salary), no fancy certifications and tests required (e.g. IELTS, NCLEX, CGFNS, etc). All you need is your diploma, local license and a few years of related experience and you’re good to go. The major downside is, you can’t bring your family with you (unless your better half also has a job offer to the same location and you don’t mind having them harassed by very straight forward foreigners) and you have to live in a dorm like flat with only the same gender living with you for the rest of your contract there (ranging from 2 to 5 years).
So there goes the husband in a land he can live like a single man again. Y/our husband must be rejoicing right now. LOL.
So how can he remain faithful when everyone just acts like they’re back to their younger years and eyeing on anything that’s in a dress (or has a hole)?
1) Regular and may not be always communication
We are told many times that open communication is the key to any kind of relationship to last long. A regular one can also maintain, if not improved, of what you know about your partner. I believe if you don’t talk regularly with your partner you might eventually forget everything about the other and grow farther apart.
2) Birds of the same feather flock together
People who have the same likes usually go together. So if you meet people who cheat on their wives (or wives who cheat with their husband) and don’t feel guilty about it, try to stay away from them. There’s a greater chance that if you stay longer with these kind of people, it would be as easy as breathing when you cheat on your partner.
3) Omission and Lies
Remember communication? Telling your partner what happened to your day also includes who you talked to and what you talked about. Sometimes men (or women) omit certain details because they know that their partner might feel jealous or think of it differently. You think you’re just protecting the relationship by omitting details. But if the other person learns about it eventually, the “omitting part” is the same as “lying part” which I tell you doesn’t protect anything at all. So just tell everything in a manner that will not bring about any suspicion. Don’t omit anything. Don’t lie.
4) Mutual respect
Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Respect your partner whether in his/ her privacy, decision he/she makes, or whatever it is that needs your respect and understanding. Ideally, each of you would give the same respect and understanding you gave him/her. However the case is not always like that. Just don’t expect everything will be equal. Sometimes, one has to give more than the other.
5) Creativity and Stupidity
Being in LDR should not limit you in showing how much you love your significant other. Be more creative… no matter how stupid it may seem your acts will be… to show how much you love him/her. Snail-mailed letter, an unexpected e-card, a little package sent on special occasions, sms of sweet nothings… I’m sure any kind of effort will be rewarded.
6) Friends not Lovers
Sometimes, you fall for the friend whose been there for you on the lonely nights you miss your significant other. But keep in mind, he/she is just a friend, a confidant, not a replacement for the one you are far away from. If you feel like falling for him/her, try to set a wall that will prevent you from straying away from your real partner.
7) Love Me Even If You Hate Me
There will always come a time when you just hate the other’s guts. Maybe s/he did something you didn’t like or s/he forgot to call you back or anything you just hate. Learn to understand and forgive. Learn to love even when you hate. Whether a relationship is long distance or not, love even when you hate.
8) Be A Better You
This is a good time to reinvent yourself. Whether you are the one who left or the onbe left behind. Try to become a better person. You are too far away from any judgement that might hinder you from becoming a new (and better) person.
9) You Gotta Have Faith
I’m talking about the faith in your partner that s/he will not stray. The more you THINK that he would do something “illegal”, the greater the chance he would DO something illegal. And faith in the Almighty that he will give you strength, courage and guidance that you will surpass this uneventful experience. God, I believe, will never give you anything that you can’t handle. So, believe that everything will be well in His time.

All relationship will pass through some obstacles one way or another. and distance will only be an obstacle that will break your relationship if you allow it.

Reunion in the Making

A little over a month from today, I'll be reunited with my sweetie again.

I can still remember how i wept for hours just to somehow get that painful feeling in my heart out. But crying didn't help much. I was just so devastated.
I used to call and send him sms often telling him that I can't seem to do the same things I do without feeling really bad cause he's not here to do them with me. From eating, sleeping, going to malls, doing the grocery, hearing mass, watching movies, they were all just so new to me without him. How lame?!
I feared too so much that we will grow apart with this temporary separation. He might find someone new and forget all about me. Or was I scared that I might find someone new and hurt him in the process?
I prayed so often for his protection and safety. He was on a foreign land with no one to trust. I could not protect him from illness, jealous colleagues or temptation. All I can do is have faith in him and in our God's perfect plans.

It will be over soon. Thank you Lord.

Now, I wonder what it will be like having him back again?

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction. -ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPERY

live another day

If only my grandma is still living today, it would be their 66th wedding anniversary.

I’ve always been fascinated with my grandparent’s love story. My grandpa was inlove with this beautiful and wonderful lady. I didn’t know much about their relationship but I knew they were a perfect couple. But the funny part was… she was going to marry someone else. Geesh. My grandpa was really devastated and so out of extreme emotion of anger or I don’t know what… he married the lady’s bestfriend, also known as my grandma. Isn’t that sweet!? They had 12 offsprings, 10 boys and 2 girls. It must have been really crazy... the marriage and the 1 dozen children. But everything went well I guess. They were able to celebrate together their golden wedding anniversary.

I can still remember their 50th wedding anniversary. Everyone flew in from US (the celebration was in Philippines) just to celebrate the crazy & I assume wacky 50 years of married life. All of us were wearing the finest gowns and suits, the church where they are going to renew their vows was filled with flowers, caterers were all over our 1000++ sq foot ancestral house, all family, friends and neighbors were invited, etc. Then about an hour before everybody leaves for the church… my grandma suddenly gave us all a blank stare. She didn’t know who we were or what was going on. I don’t even know if she knew who she was. I was very young then so it was only known to grown ups what was really going on. (Now I understand that what had happened was Transient Ischemic Attack. Its like stroke but with less “injuries") The renewal of vows was still held but not anymore in the church. We have to move it to our house since my grandma can’t seem to know how to walk anymore. My oldest uncle have to answer the priest “I do” questions in my grandma’s behalf coz she even cant understand what we were all saying. The party went on afterwards with all guests have to say their names first before greeting grandma. The day after was perfectly fine. Grandma was well and she is really pissed she “missed” her Golden anniversary. Good thing there were pictures to tell how great the party was. She was in every picture but couldn’t remember if she was there or not.

We planned to celebrate again the following year… but she wasn’t able to live to have another wedding anniversary celebration. She had a stroke about a month before their 51st.

I just wished that my grandma was able to live a little longer… so she could have experienced to celebrate her wonderful & fulfilled married life. I’m also wishing to have the same married life & family that she had.

Happy anniversary Lolo and Lola! We’re still going to celebrate coz even when Lola is not here anymore…Lolo’s heart will always be with you, Lola.

*No matter how weird or crazy the start may be, the middle can be beautiful and will hopefully lead to a happy ending.

*Several years later, the lady early in this story kinda reunited with my grandpa. Geeesshh. She was in US while my grandpa was in the Philippines. They exchanged snail mailed letters (they don’t know how to US the PC yet) until my grandpa felt like proposing. He was like almost 80 years old. Lol. Anyway, nothing serious pushed through since everyone (see 12 grown up children + inlaws + grandkids + the lady’s family) was against it. It was really complicated.

Til I Met You

Being in a couple is hard. Committing, making sacrifices is hard. But if it is the right person then its easy. Looking at that person & knowing she's all you want in the world, that's the easiest thing to do. If its not like that, then she's not the one.
-marshall, how i met your mother

I used to be a non-believer of a loyal, committed relationship. I'm a bit pessimist. I just doubt that anyone, including me, could engage in such an ideal (and boring) bond. I'm no whore either. It's just that, i think, i can not find my perfect match at the age or time i want to. Let's say an average person's life span will be 80 years. Most people start getting to know another person at the age of 16, be involved with someone seriously by the age of 22 and get married at age 27. So between those years, how sure are you that the person you chose to be with is the right one for you? You're not even sure who that person is even when you get married. Within that 20++ years of living, im sure you haven't met all the people you could ever meet in your entire lifetime. There are a million guys to choose from, our country alone has 80++million people and probably 1/4 to 1/5 of that population are legitimate guys. How much more for other larger countries?! So, what are the chances for the next (80-27=)53 years you meet the ultimate perfect partner for you?

Then when you thought that you had chosen "the one", it turns out to be not "the one" at all. Its either he ignores you when he receives his midyear bonus or has his all attention on you when you receive your midyear bonus. And he either hits the tennis court (or whatever court he likes) 7 days a week or hits you 7 days a week.
I guess that's why they invented divorce & annulment. (And for that not-so-sure-they-chose-the-right-one, affairs.) Hehehe.

As of the moment, I, again, contradicted my personal beliefs. I'm in that ideal (but not boring) bond. We've been together for a couple of years and it just feels like we are the ultimate perfect match. He likes to eat, I like to cook. He likes to earn, I like to spend. He likes to make mess, I like to clean. Hahaha. It's not as lame as that, but we do complement each other in everything. I guess you can say I won the lottery. The chances are slim of finding your perfect mate in such a short time, but i did.

It's the best thing that ever happened to me. It's like having all the people you know, from family members, boyfriend, friend, arch enemy, acquaintance, classmate, online buddy, financier, gardener, mechanic, drinking partner, lover, soulmate, all rolled into one. I can fully enjoy my life anywhere as long as i have myHubby by my side. I guess that's whats great about being in committed relationship, you have someone to share your life with, for better or for worse.

I'm not saying my relationship is all clean & perfect. I don't think such thing exists. It's just that I have found someone to share an imperfect relationship with an (im)perfect partner that makes everything perfect! So no matter how difficult our life could be, or how many more "probably & could be the one" for either one of us come into our lives, failing & disappointing each other would be the most difficult decision to make (& we wont) and choosing to stick by each other is just the easiest choice that we'll always make.

me: what's the greatest thing about being married?
myHubby: well i guess the best thing about being married is u feel so accepted and having someone to have even if u have nothing and u have someone to turn to in happy times and in desperate times.

keeping in mind # 1

Every relationship is going to come up against some obstacles. They'll either break it up, or make it stronger. If it ends, it wasn't meant to be. If you push through, the relationship will be better than ever.

Family of Two

i read an interesting article On Not Having Children.. yet.

I've been married for a couple of years now. And, like the author of the article (& the gazzillion that commented), encountered questions, from strangers, "why don't you have babies yet?". And for me, i have encountered worse "why did you get married? are you pregnant?".
geessshh. Am i not good enough to be married? Defensive er?! hehehe.

nowadays (i dont even know why), its a trend that lovers have babies first before tying the knot. (no offense to those who did. its your choice. and i salute those who stood up & live with the choices they made no matter what the circumstances are. do whatever that makes you sleep at night, right!?) i, or should i say we, did not follow that trend. we just felt that we wanted to be together ... just the two of us....at least for now. We still want to reach our individual dreams with the company of each other before reaching our dreams for our little ones. Its a very logical & practical reason. and I firmly believe that a couple should learn more about each other's strengths & weaknesses before making bigger plans for their budding family. Just living with that one (another) person needs a lot of adjusting, from sleeping on which side of the bed, capping the toothpaste, leaving soiled clothes on the floor, having breakfast at noon,etc. Not all couples share the same routine. And do you think having another (little) one will make it easier? And i also believe that knowing your partner well will also help you raise better children. Imagine reprimanding your teenage daughter for a new piercing on her navel. You think its hideous but your spouse thinks its cool. And instead of making reasonable point to your daughter, you end up arguing with your husband, in front of your confused teenager. So who do you think this confused child will believe in? Who will she respect more? Or... yah..im thinking too much now. I should be crossing the bridge when i get there.. not when im just i magining it. Oh well, Sooner or later we are going to have those mini-me's.

anyway, i just dont understand why some people are so insensitive with matters like having or not having a baby they are not even involved in the relationship the couple have for them to meddle with the way they chose to live their lives. and i also do not understand why the hell im explaining my side now.

"why don't you have babies yet?"
Some couples have concrete plans when to make their family of two to have an extension and they are sticking to it. Good for them. Let them be.
Some couples try to have kids, but can't due to a lot of factors they can't control. God has plans..better ones. Spare them theagony & pressure.
Some couples don't even try but wouldn't mind if they'll be blessed with "cute nightscreamers". Good luck!
Some couples just dont want babies. Period.

"why did you get married? are you pregnant?"
tying the knot is not simply for procreation. Marriage, i suppose, is not simply a sacrament to make babies. Marriage is binding two people to build a family... and having children is not the only way to have one. You can always have a family of two.